SML-E: SuperMarioLogan - Endgame: The Beginning of the End
Written By Matthew Ess Episode 1: The Beginning Of The End (Shows YouTube originals logo) (Shows Sony logo) (Shows Columbia Pictures logo) (Shows Imagine Entertainment logo) (Shows Point Grey logo) (Shows Village Roadshow Pictures logo) We open in a fade in with a curtain room with me in a suit in tie for the introduction Me: Hello, Everybody. Thanks for coming. My Name Is Matthew Ess. And I'd like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you're about to see it’s how the series SuperMarioLogan ends. Just take it from me. What is the metaverse you may ask? there’s more to this universe, so please pay attention that way Sony doesn’t get the blame. Once the forces of evil are extinct, all heroes are like siblings large or small fur or feather cleaver or simple man or machine angel or demon young or old now and forever all heroes are equal and now... I give you the Final Season Of the longest running and most neutral plush franchise ever seen by the eyes of YouTube. Ladies And Gentlemen... SuperMarioLogan: Endgame. story begins with me leaving the curtain room as the curtains rise and when it gets into full frame a computer screen surfing through the Databases. Computer: Now, accessing story databases. clicker moves to the files that reads "The Age of Monarch," "The Origin of the Men In Black," "The Fall Of Asgard," "The Demise of the KND," "The Life Cycle of Yautja." and "The Revenge of The Mario Bros." The clicker clicks on "The Revenge of The Mario Bros." file. Computer: You have selected historical file number 7-14-83: The Revenge of The Mario Bros. Mario (V.O.): Alright, let’s do this. My name is Mario. Luigi (V.O.): And I’m Luigi QUICK CUTS of The Mario bros. Putting on their hats...a couple name tags that reads “Mario Monroe” And “Luigi Monroe”...various shots of The Mario Bros. IN ACTION. Mario And Luigi (V.O.): We were flushed into the mushroom kingdom and for 30 years we’ve been the one and only Mario Bros. (One By One): We’re pretty sure you know the rest. We saved a bunch of people, fell in love, saved the world, and then we saved the world again and again and again... Mario And Luigi save the city, kisses peach and Daisy, saves the city some more. The shots evoke ICONIC Mario And Luigi IMAGES, but each one is subtly different, somehow altered. Mario (V.O.): And uh... We did this. Cut to the Mario Bros. Do the Mario on the street, exactly like in the super Mario bros. Super show. Luigi (V.O.): We really talk about this. A LOT A THREE PANEL SPLIT SCREEN: shots of Mario And Luigi’s past: Mario (V.O.) Get This, We’re a comic book, a cereal, a ghostbuster, did a few tv shows. We have an excellent theme song. Luigi (V.O.) (CONT'D): And a so-so Movie. I mean, I’ve seen worse. Especially in Luigi’s mansion MATCH CUT -- Mario And Luigi, PINNED to a WALL by Ursula’s tentacle. Bowser punches Mario. Predator fights Luigi. Mario (V.O.): But after everything, Luigi And I still love being a true hero. I mean, who wouldn’t? Mario And Luigi run toward a SUPER COLLIDER, something we’ll see quite soon. They SLAMMED TO THE GROUND. Luigi (V.O.): So no matter how many hits we take- Both: -We always find a way to come back. The Mario bros. GET UP... in a shot that we will also remember, RIGHT BEFORE Predator GRABS HIM. The collider EXPLOLDING, the force of the blast rippling through New York. Mario (V.O.): Because the only thing standing between this universe and oblivion is Luigi And me. Luigi (V.O.): There’s only one Mario And Luigi. Both (V.O.): And you’re looking at them. The WINK. Man, They’re cool. Mario (V.O.): Now let’s take a trip to our past on how it all began. Long ago, the earth was ruled by dinosaurs. They were the first titans unlike kaiju, so not a lot of people went around hassling them. In fact, no one roamed the earth because there weren't any humans yet. Just the first mammals. Basically life was good for them. Alro: You know, it just doesn’t get any better than this. Littlefoot: Yeah Brooklyn 65 Million Years Ago Mario: Then something appended. A giant meteorite struck the earth. Death to the dinosaurs. But what if those dinosaurs weren't all killed? What if the impact of that meteorite created a parallel dimension... where the dinosaurs continue to thrive and evolve into intelligent... vicious, aggressive beings, just like us? And like I told you What if they found a way back? Unfortunately... the answer is for another day Ext. Palace - night (The gates swing open for Hera’s limo. The mansion is lit up, with 1910’s dressed partygoers streaming inside. They salute as Hera’s limo pulls up.) Mario: (os cont’d) In the beginning: There was a time, not very long ago, when I lived in an enchanted world of elegant palaces and grand fancy parties you didn’t know The year was 1983… (The mansion doors swing open. Music pours out, and sounds of gaiety. Hera sweeps inside, dancing couples salute as she passes.) Mario: (os cont’d) …and my dad 7 Grand Dad, was the czar of Glorious Verona Beach. (Move into mansion) Int. Catherine palace - night (Elegant loyalists, in 17th century costumes, waltz in the main hall as an orchestra plays) Hera: Hello darlings Mario: (os) We were celebrating the three hundredth anniversary of our family’s honor Nicholas: (laughter) Mario: (os cont’d) It’s to make the separation easier for us. (Hera hands her a beautiful MUSIC BOX.) Mario: Oh My God! Is it a jewelry box?! Hera: Look. (Hera takes out a key, a small silver flower on a neck chain. She puts it into the back of the music box, and winds it.) MUSIC BOX THEME Mario And Luigi nodded no and walked away (Hera hands Mario the key) Read what it says. (CLOSE on MUSIC BOX KEY bearing the inscription "Together in Brazil.") Mario: "Together in Brazil". The power shuts down Mario: What happened to the electricity? GROUP SHOT as PEOPLE in the ballroom look around bewildered. Then, a WHIRLWIND kicks up, sending everyone off the dance floor, as the whirlwind becomes a TORNADO. The tornado reaches it's peak and EXPLODES in smoke leaving Satan standing alone in the middle of the floor. He is of indeterminate age, towering over other men in the room, his most striking feature are his eyes- which at this moment are burning a fiery red. He is dressed in a flowing black monk's robe with a satin rope tied around his waist. Connected to the rope is a glowing RELIQUARY, a mystical lantern. (Gasp from the crowd and the room falls silent. THE CROWD parts before a dark figure.) (THE DARK FIGURE is SATAN, stalking through the crowd, people falling back in fear and surprise, crushing a champagne glass underfoot.) Mario: (os) But we wouldn’t be together in Brazil at all. For a dark shadow had descended upon the house of the Monroes. His name was Satan. He’s not your average everyday devil, We thought he was a Holy Man. But he was a fraud, power-mad and a dangerous inter dimensional dictator. (Satan has reached 7 Grand Dad) 7 Grand Dad: Satan! How dare you return to Verona? Satan: But I am your confidante! 7 Grand Dad: Confidante? Ha! You’re nothing but a traitor. Get out of my house!! Satan: After all I've done for your family - YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!!! (cont’d) You think you can banish me? The great Satan? By the unholy powers vested in me. It is I who banishes YOU with a curse. The PEOPLE back away in terror. Satan: (cont’d) (to 7 Grand Dad ) …mark my words. You, your wife, children, both of your entire family trees and your dynasties will die within the fortnight! I will not rest until I see the END OF THE MONROE LINE FOREVER! (He raises the RELIQUARY, sending a bolt of lightning to the Chandelier which crashes to the floor.) (Points To the others) Who Else Is Guilty . . . . . . . Stand Up And CONFESS! The guests were squirming Satan: Nobody, eh? The fairy godmother said it! I will P.T. you all until you die! I'll P.T. you one by one until your anuses are sucking buttermilk. Satan points at Mario And Luigi. Satan: Was it you two, you scroungy little fucks, yes?! Mario: Sir, no, sir! Satan: No? You look like worms! I'll bet it was you! Luigi: Bullshit! Hera: I traded your soul for another! Satan steps up to Hera. Satan: Well ...no shit. What have we got here? Hera Xero? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my 9000 wives. Hera makes a derp face (Satan (FLASHBACK) Kneeling in a sorcerer’s caldron, cowers as a huge, shadowy figure appears above him.) Mario: (os) Consumed by his hatred for the Monroes, Satan sold his soul for the power to kill them. (Satan raises his arms in supplication. A shadow, like smoke in a windstorm, leaves Satan, sucked toward the terrible figure. As his soul leaves him, he becomes a Skeleton spooky isn’t it? Then the RELIQUARY materializes in mid-air before Satan’s skeleton. It reaches out, grasps it, and Satan RESUMES HIS FORM. With the guts regenerating We PULL IN CLOSE on the Reliquary in his hand.) Satan: (to Reliquary) Go fulfill your dark purpose, and seal the fate of 7 Grand Father And Agent Xero’s Families once and for all. (He holds the Reliquary aloft. The locked gates hold back the crowd of demonstrators.) PULL BACK to reveal. EXT. Satan AT THE PALACE GATES – NIGHT Mario: (os) From that day of the spark of unhappiness in our country was fanned into a flame that would soon kill us all. (SMOKE wisps from the top of the Reliquary, assuming the form of Satan’s MINIONS. The Gremlins attack the chain holding the gate shut, breaking it, letting the demonstrators pour into the palace.) (Kree Warriors with rifles storming the palace grounds. Statue of 7 Grand Dad falls to crush.) INT. PALACE (Monroe family in nightclothes, running down a hallway fighting back.) Girl: Help! Help! 7 Grand Dad: Get Everyone Out! I’ll hold them off! (Mario And Luigi stops in their tracks, as their family continues down the hallway.) Mario: Luigi Get My music box! Luigi grabs the music box (Mario grabs her music box as Luigi rushes in. SHOTS are heard. Hera bursts in from wall panel.) Bartok: Grunt Oy. (On impact of landing on window sill) Hera: Please hurry! Luigi: Come this way, out the servants quarters. (loud rifle) Hera: Hurry Up Guys! (Hera enters the secret doorway. Luigi shoves Mario in behind him, giving the music box right to his hand.) Bartok: My lord, they’re getting away. Mario: My music box. (Alarmed Bartok watches Mario escape.) Luigi: Go, go! (He pushes him through as angry revolutionaries burst in the door. He slams the panel shut and puts his body in front of it.) QUICK CUT TO: (Bartok, seeing Mario and Luigi escape, flies off looking for Satan.) Guard: Comrades, in here. (A huge revolutionary approaches 7 Grand and slaps him hard.) Guard: Where are they, Old Man Nicholas? 7 Grand Dad: Your Ass! (The guard knocks him to the floor with the butt of his rifle. Before 7 Grand Dad grabs his and his chin is bleeding and on the floor.) EXT. FROZEN RIVER (With the palace in FLAMES behind them, Mario is running with Luigi across the ice. it is very cold, the brothers are not dressed for it. They pass under a bridge.) Mario: Luigi! Luigi: Hurry Your ass up! (The boys look behind them and gasps.) (Angle on Satan, leaping down upon them from atop the bridge, landing hard on the ice, grabs a hold of Mario’s ankle and won’t let go.) Luigi: (sees the evil holy man.) Satan! Mario: Let me go, damnit! Rasputin: (Thrashing in the water) You’ll never escape me, boy, Never! NEVER! Hahahaha! Mario: This guy’s out of his fucking mind! (The ice breaks beneath him and he falls into the river. Mario wrenches himself free, and sees Satan thrashing about in the water. He’s going down, and they lock eyes for a moment, his glowing, hypnotic eyes full of rage and fury. He calls out to the Bat.) Satan: Bartok! Bartok: Master! Satan: Mark my words boys when I thaw YOU SHALL PAY! ONE DAYS BOYS! ONE DAY! Mario: Fuck You! (Mario breaks the gaze and runs away.) (Satan’s fingernails - digging into the ice, can’t find purchase. He is slowly dragged under. One last desperate reach out of the water, and Rasputin is sucked under by the current.) (Angle on Reliquary - All that’s left of Satan, rolling away from the hole in the ice. Bartok swoops down, scooping it up, and disappears into the black night.) EXT. TRAIN STATION – NIGHT (mass confusion as people shove to get on the train. Mario and Luigi race to get on, fighting their way through the frightened crowd.) Mario: Luigi hurry, hurry!! Make Way! (Passengers pull Mario on board the train and Luigi is running to catch up.) Luigi: Bro!! Mario: Take my hand. Hold on to my goddamn hand! (Luigi reaches up and takes Mario’s hand. He is desperate, frightened.) Luigi: Don’t let go! (Close on the two hands, then suddenly, he makes it) Mario: You Are one giant scaredy cat Mario (os): With the fall of my Monroes, Luigi And I fell back to the only remaining place where we could escape the powerful Satan. The Mushroom Kingdom. The people there allowed us to live where we could claim sanctuary After years of rescuing peach form bowser over and over because he’s got an attitude of Gaston And for a time, it wasn't so bad. But it was not long before we began to yearn for the strippers we once had for lap dances, the streets we once explored, and the toys they once played with on In Chronopolis. So, the ambassadors came to the mushroom kingdom with plans for a civil, stable relationship with other species. One where they could all live on the city that never leaps in harmony and equality. The kingdom decided to willingly live together with humans in In a truce. Humans and toads could finally live together as equals. Or could they?! Soon In 2007, Bowser Banished me and Luigi into YouTube. A TREMOR hits the room causing the same strange “color separation” we saw before. The plumbers’ whole body suddenly SHAKES AND VIBRATES as he LOOKS UP Where A PSYCHEDELIC PORTAL YAWNS OPEN, sucking Mario and Luigi TOWARD IT -- their bodies FLY UP, halftones more prominent-- Mario (V.O): ... And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was the gateway to hell They use their limbs to fight but it's TOO STRONG... the portal CLOSES. INT. INTER-DIMENSIONAL PORTAL - CONTINUOUS Mario And Luigi fly SCREAMING through an INSANE MULTIVERSE they are falling towards a STRANGE KALEIDOSCOPE Casting Luigi out and Mario’s heading towards a tv screen Mario: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIII- Cut to Super Mario Got Milk Mario: Okay you’re wondering why we’re in the SML universe The creators drained out all of our memories so that we forget I ever had recent activity. And it gets disgraceful every Video, they spawn idiots and crybabies to control us even more. And if you thinking that beep beep coming from the camera aiming at us THAT’S THE CYBER MICROWAVE CRANIAL GULLIFIYER SLOWLY TURNING OUR BRAINS INTO PINT SIZED ONES! AND THE STUFF THEY DO DURING THE RECORDING?! IT’S BRAIN DRAINS! THEY’RE MAKING US OBEY BRAIN DRAINS! BECAUSE IF YOU GO ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF FLORIDA, THEN THEY CAN INJECT THE SUB-MOLAR TRACKING SPORES IN YOUR SKULL WHICH THEY USE! IT’S SO THEY WOULD KNOW IF YOU ESCAPED! IT’S A LIE! EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SML IS A LIE! THEY’RE CRUSHING YOU BENEATH THEIR STUPIDITY AND YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE IT! RISE UP! RISE UP AND THROW OFF THE RETARDATION! RISE UP! Back To Reality Shrek: I agree with him Chef Peepee falls to the floor Black Yoshi: You’re saying that 7 Grand Dad And Agent Xero Are Your Slave Owners? Mario: Precisely! Black Yoshi laughs: 7 Grand Dad And Agent Xero! The big guys. They raised you and Luigi! Mr. Fred Flintstone And Mrs. Mystique, read me a book, will ya'.. ma and pa? 7 Grand Dad! (Mimics 7 Grand Dad) Once upon a time— Mario: It's the truth! Black Yoshi stops laughing Black Yoshi: It wasn’t a joke right? Mario: Exactly Joseph: {Awed, either genuinely or mockingly} Really? Jeffy: You mean you’re from a bunch of royal dead guys and killers? Everyone breaks out laughing Junior: Who told you something like that? What jackass made that kind of bullshit up? Mario: It’s no joke! Jeffy: Like I give a fuck about your topic! Anyway I’m going to bed. The Last day of school’s Tomorrow so I gotta sleep my shit off! Mario: YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M FUCKING TIRED OF BEING PUSHED ALL AROUND! FU-! I’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR LIKE 334 EPISODES NOW! MAN! I’M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT! YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS- AFTER THE NEXT EPISODE IF I DON’T GET MY LIFE RIGHT I’M- I’M RETIRING FULLY I AM RETIRING! FUCK THIS SHIT!! I DON’T CARE MAN! YEAH! SOME OTHER DUDE CAN DO THE JOB! Later Goodman: Alright welcome to tonight’s 350 billion dollar lottery drawing so get your tickets ready! Mario: Oh man I hope I win win! I hope I win this time! Goodman: Alright tonight’s winning numbers are 6 Mario: Okay 6 Goodman: 19 Mario: 19 Goodman: 24 Mario: 24! Goodman: 48 Mario: 48!! Goodman: 52 I’m assure that some of you are shitting your pants right now Mario: 52!!! Goodman: The final number... THE FINAL NUMBER! The final number number is 11! Whoever are the winners go for you mkaaaay Mario: (Gasps) I’m free! For real this time! Now to get My car keys so I don’t have to see my channel ever again! When Mario was getting his car keys, he realized he didn’t see His lottery ticket grabs the keys and ticket sneakily Goodman: Now That we got the drawing out of the way, Breaking news M’Kay! We just made a disgraceful realization! Long time running plush channel SuperMarioLogan is not what it seemed. The channel’s Wiki General Discussion board, in it’s Forum Methyl salicylate asked Will SuperMarioLogan be terminated? It had the lyrics to King’s dead from black panther La di da di da, slob on me knob Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car La di da di da, mothafuck the law Chitty chitty bang, murder everything, if you haven’t listened to the black panther soundtrack go listen to it right now M’kay the original songs are by rapper Kendrick Lamar, imagine if he does a Diss Song on toad. Back on topic SkipDipTheUltimateHater said I surely hope so, either that or we can guarantee it because we're planning to mass-flag him for violating community guidelines. He made this hashtag #killsml now you’re wondering what guidelines did he violate? Leostales’s comment said, Nudity or sexual content (Everyone) That includes no undies, whipping it out, and flirting, Violent or graphic content (Everyone) Self Harm, Child Abuse, And Suicide, Harmful or dangerous content (Everyone) Hateful content (Vlogs) Don’t watch chilly’s vlogs it’ll give you cancer and shit your pants for 5 days. Spam, misleading metadata, and scams (Chilly, because she put Jeffy in a thumbnail for no reason just to get views.) Threats (Against YouTube) Trikkiboy said Jeffy is an actor, the vlogs are on another channel, how are they hateful? And he agrees with him on Chilly. What threats has Logan made? Logan basically infered that YouTube is stupid and they don't know what they're doing even thought they're punishing him for violating the previous guidelines. Jeffy is an actor, he’s correct ladies and gentlemen, but does that make it okay for children to imitate him and inflict parents to boycott the site? And the vlogs being on another channel makes it worse, he is attempting to avoid a punishment that was validly given. It will be sooner or later before Chilly herself gets terminated along with every other channel they ever owned. There is a difference between threatening youtube and saying that they made a mistake. If parents don't want their children mimicking Jeffy's behavior they should pay more attention to what their kids watch. He's sending his fans after YouTube and they're spamming #fuckyoutube, #savesml, and so on. They are also threatening to sue and attack YouTube, which is not okay at all. Regardless of the parents parenting, they're still going to attack YouTube unless they do what they ask. They won't stand a chance against law suits with how many parents exist on the planet. Hateful content against YouTube as he’s stated in the first point. Parents can't sue youtube for showing offensive videos. Nor can fans sue youtube for blocking sml. Youtube is in their rights to support or block (even if I may disagree) sml. So any lawsuit would never make it to court. And it concluded by Methyl salicylate saying nigga shut up. Wow. Now we got the truth. If you think that’s bad In 72 hours it will banned from every country on earth and there’s a reason why it’s not what it seemed. On change.org a couple years back Fakhri Ijlal started this petition to The owner of the SuperMarioLogan channel and the writer of the SML series. Logan Thirtyacre to delete his channel, Let’s look at the comments. Antonio Wetzstein told us that sml is marketed towards children and uses foul language, features very adult content and dangerous behavior such as sticking pencils up Jeffy’s nose. It's very derogatory towards the handicapped portraying them as idiots that do nothing but masturbate. This is shameful and it should not be featured on youtube. Oh my god. What you’ve experienced is in exposing of the channel. In addition to that it’s racist, they support the gays, They LIE to everyone. They love CUSSING. They BRAINWASH kids. And MILKED up every character and killed them all. In the episode Jeffy's Trap, it is practically confirmed that Jeffy is a stalker because of a certain scene in the episode. Let’s pull up a deleted scene now. Jeffy: Daddy, Where’s mommy’s panties? Mario: Because She is an adult Jeffy Jeffy: Hold Up. Who’s going to catch the poop? Mario: Catch the poop? What Are You talking about Jeffy? Jeffy: Sinple, if Mommy's not wearing panties, and if She shits right now. The shit’s going to fall straight to the floor Daddy Mario slaps Jeffy Goodman: WOW. Only a stalker would say what Jeffy said in that episode, I once thought that Mario did child abuse but it turns out Jeffy was criminal Nancy Francois’ son. Lastly Logan said that after the masterpiece of Mario torture "Locked Out" that he will do no more of them videos... And thus that's all we see here! He runs over Jeffy's leg by accident whilst he was being obnoxious and not wanting to attend school. So because he thinks Mario will bow down before him, Jeffy decides to order and demand all day long! First of all, the recycled storyline of "Bowser Junior Breaks His Leg!", however at least Junior got the karma he deserved for bossing around Chef Pee Pee. But here, Jeffy just gets a whole load of schoolwork. Which I think is not enough considering how selfish and greedy he was during the video. And second of all, Logan promised the fans that torture videos would be no more after "Locked Out" and the terrible quality of that video “Jeffy Breaks His Leg!”, so basically, Logan shit all over that promise to produce this video! So now I know that Logan is not a promise keeper! Also he puts exclamation points after every last word of the titles of his videos! Don’t trust these crackheads anymore and focus on something else. I mean I’m from sml but I’m retiring from it and I KNOW that I want to punch Logan in the nose and nuts. But Also there’s plenty of quality there’s SMG4, Glove and boots and House Of Mouse not to mention it’s coming back in 2 weeks. But what I really recommend from you is to watch Lordkraken3. This fuckhead is a plush / action figure-tuber who's also got a knack for art and voice-acting. He’s the creator of Robot Flain, P&S Plush, Plants vs. Zombies: The Series, and more. His videos are for an older audience (He’d rate them PG-13 / TV-14 for swearing, violent / sexual themes and off-beat humor), so keep little kids out of the room if you want to watch his videos. Also, I support equality for all, no matter what, so that in mind. Also, he uploads as slow as shit. He’s more active on other sites, so go check those out if you can't get enough of him. He’s also active on DeviantArt, Twitter And CCC he Joined May 30, 2011. Let’s pull up a virgin vs chad meme. Credit: MemeManOmega In Deviantart Goodman: Take notes Logan, you’re on thin ice now! You only care about money more than your fanbase! You blinded us with your stupidity and now we can see! You owe everyone the SuperMarioLogan movie for the fans. Or the government’s gonna send the men in black over there to repossess your content. You've got 72 hours starting when When we sign off. Listen to the YouTube system and give your fans what they want while you got the chance. ‘Cause you'll be digging for gold with finger splints after Tuesday. Mario: Is this the end of sml?! HOLY SHIT WE DID IT! YES! THEY FINALLY DID THE RIGHT THING! THANK YOU YOUTUBE! NOW I CAN GO BACK TO MY ADVENTURES AROUND THE METAVERSE! Goodman: (Holds his earpiece) We just got reports that something from the depths of hell has unleashed inter dimensional kingpin: “Lord Satan” formed a regime called “The Revenants”. Mario: What the fu-? Goodman: They’re on the loose and planning to take over not just the world but the metaverse in 80 days. The revenants has 19,980 Mercenaries, Bounty Hunters, Psychopaths, Killer Clowns, Slashers, Sorcerers, Yanderes, Yautja, Witches, Marra? What kind of organization has all this? But to be back on topic: They could kill us all if we don’t submit or rejoice to their balance. Here’s Just the facts host and former daily bugle owner J Jonah Jameson with a statement J Jonah: All right everyone quiet down as you all know that I created my radio podcast Just the facts with me- J Jonah Jameson. Who tells you about many things, such as any event taking place in New York City, so there’s a very large organization that’s the amount of the number 1998 times 10 it’s gonna take a chance to get them all stopped it’s a very, VERY, VEEEEEERY fucking large army. The size of God-Damn-Zilla, And if we all don’t listen to him we’ll all die everyone in society will die and this situation must be controlled before it’s too late but there’s a solution we’re gonna send the best of the best Heroes EXCLUDING THE SPIDER-ARMY. Not to mention my book ‘Spider-Man: Threat Of Menace’. One of four things will happen; 1. The heroes will break up the Revenants casting them out which will burn up in the atmosphere. 2. The heroes will break the Revenants’ behalf leaving the other taking absolutely everything from us. 3. The heroes does absolutely nothing to do about it. Or 4. The heroes just fucking miss out. Press: Mr Jameson! What do we do before they come? J Jonah Jameson: If they don’t make it in the very last second so you can start writing and looting now because if there’s no Hope we’ll die apparently if you find hope just report us so goodbye. Goodman Goodman: We’re now getting word that failed actor Darla Dimple has escaped Arkham last night Let’s cut to their security footage now (Cut to cell of Darla making a hit list) Oh my god. What you’re watching is security footage of Darla trying to escape Arkham to kill every animal in the whole animal kingdom she can smell the blood this is the lil’ ark angel who turned out to be a lil’ ark demon. It now appears that mewman princess star butterfly will pay a visit Dark Star narwhal blasts a hole in the wall and grabs her Goodman: Oh my god! If Marco is seeing this, turn him away Now as she’s violating darla di- What going on out there? Cuts to the Revenants stacked as a tower Benjamin: Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Coachman: Come on, you blokes, keep 'em moving! (he and his minions are bringing some prisoners out of their cells) Lively there now. We haven't got all night! Goodman: (confused) Where'd all the donkeys come from? Napoleon: Come on, come on. Let's have another. (one of the members of animal kingdom brings the penguin out toward him) And what's your name? Penguin: Oswald Cobblepot Hades: Okay, you'll do! Out you go! Janna: You boys'll bring nice air support! (cackles evilly) Bowser: All right. Next! And you are? Anarky: I am Anarky - voice of the people Bowser: Hmmm, so you’re the voice of the people. Anarky: That’s right. Gotham is a prison and the police its wardens. To protect and serve, their motto goes. And they do. Protect and serve THEMSELVES. We live in fear of their gaze. Their billy clubs and guns. When they walk down the streets, we avert our eyes. We tremble when they speak. Who are these people, really? What drives them? Is it justice? Honor? No. They want power and the badge that gives it to them. And so those we look to for protection - instead inspire fear. Bowser: Take him out! He knows everything about the Batman! Goodman: Star has done it. She cleaved both Mewni and earth! And she gave us this?! Let’s go to the press conferences Lisa: I have tips for the Revenants’ arrival. Get Everyone out of their homes EVERYONE! Every kids next door outlaw, Every Atlantean, Your Kids, Wife, Pets, Uncles And Goldfish Because the Revenants’ coming And They’re coming soon! Fight back now before it’s too late! And get WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY the fuck out of here! Forky: Always Be alert you’ll never know if these Revenants are here or There, you’ll find them anywhere! (Runs off And comes back) And watch my Q&A show in November. (Runs off And comes back) I don’t have much to say. Brittany: Don't worry, The cheerleaders and I at echo creek Academy have great distractions. Just take it from me! Twerking. Uh-huh. Goodman: Back to the sml banning. As for the plane crash the true Person to blame is jeffy he is the one who damaged the drone although we know Mario purchased the drone and registered it to his name. He thought it was okay to send to space but it wasn’t. Now the reason why sml is bad. There you have it so hide your kids and wives, Because the Revenants will find you where ever you are because we’re next... God help us all. Mario And Luigi If you’re watching this... We need you back! Now Get your Asses Back to the outside world! Mario: Oh my god... SOMEONE HAS TO STOP THEM! And I know they’re begging me to come back and I’m a professional! But I’ll have to wait until tomorrow cause I’m getting sleepy Meanwhile at 2:30 Am We zoom out of Mohegan Circle and revealing that There’s a barrier around Florida, so sml can be safe from ‘copyright’. And Jesus And Mewtwo Are seen Jesus: You...are late. Mewtwo: A thousand apologies, O mighty one. Jesus: You have it, then? Mewtwo: I had to face off a few security guards but I got it. (Pulls out half of the medallion. Jesus reaches out for it, but Mewtwo yanks it back.) Ah, ah, ahhh! The treasure! (Mewtwo looks at His hand and it’s in Jesus’s grasp with the medallion.) Jesus: Trust me, My Pokémon friend. You'll get what's coming to you. (Jesus pulls out the second half of the medallion. He connects them, and the insect medallion begins to glow. Finally, it flies out of Jesus’s hand, scaring the horse, and is off towards the hills.) Jesus: Quickly, follow the trail! (All ride off, following the glowing speck of light, until it reaches a large firewall as it stops.) Jesus: At last, after all my years of searching, the firewall! Now, remember! Break down the dome. Get everyone out of there, but the heroes in there are mine! (Mewtwo starts to approach the firewall, which forms the entrance to the firewall.) Firewall: Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? Mewtwo: I Am Mewtwo and I’ve come to bargain Firewall: Know this. Only one may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. The Rock in The Meteorite. (Mewtwo turns to Jesus with a questioning look.) Jesus: What are you waiting for? Go on! Mewtwo: Greatest Heroes! Now is the time. Awaken Thy Masters! The Barrier breaks into pieces like snow Mario: ‘sigh’ IF ONLY- Okay they’re not stalking. I can already it. I’ll spent the green on Gun, Booze And So Many Hookers! So they will suck my dick it’s not sucked in so long I still have the mojo shlong. I can see it now. WHORES! Hell yeah! Then Mario sees something glowing and he looks down and sees a rock Guess What? It was the meteorite rock Mario just puts it in his pocket because he doesn’t remember Scene {Mario gets in the car The music continues. Milkweed pot’s floss is stirred into the air by closing the window. The camera follows its path. It crosses the desert. Next we see Rafiki's hand snatch some it out of the air. He sniffs it, grunts, and bounds down into his tree. He pours the milkweed into a turtle shell, sifts it around, and then eats from the same kind of fruit he anointed Simba with. Examining the milkweed floss again, realization dawns on his face.} Rafiki: Mario And Luigi? They’re- They’re alive? They’re- They’re- They‘re Alive! {He laughs} {Rafiki grabs his staff. Laughing in delight, he picks up some paint and puts a couple beards on the smeared plumbers image on the wall.} Rafiki: It is time! In the clothing store Mario: First, that iconic overall and long sleeved shirt combo is much too vintage. These threads and tags--what are we trying to say--beggar? No. Let's think of something here Mario grabs a Red Vest, Orange briefs, Blue shirt and pants, A wig to cover his bald head and a Red Colored Double-D Lookalike beanie with the letter M on it Mario: Ooh. I like it. Muy macho. Mario’s phone rings. Mario: Hello? cough Hello? Luigi: (on phone) Bro? Where the hell are you, man? Mario: Luigi? Luigi: (on phone) You should have been here a Day ago! Mario: What? What are you...Hold on. Mario looks at his phone saying 7:50pm. Mario: Oh, hell! I remember! Luigi: (on phone) Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off! Mario: No way, man! It's now or never! Luigi: Well, you better get a move on! I'll meet you at the strip club! Mario: Which one? Luigi: The peppermint mocha! It’s our childhood gentleman’s club. (Mario Runs And pays for the clothes as the leg transitions to Gazeem as he hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave. With great apprehension, he plants his foot down. Nothing happens. Relieved, he begins his trek again. Then another roar comes. He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal. All that are left are Satan, IAGO, and the two separated halves of the medallion.) CAVE: Seek thee out, the Rock in The Meteorite. (IAGO unburied himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.) IAGO: I can't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp! Just forget it. Look at this. Look at this. I'm so Pissed off that I'm molting! (He flies up to Satan's shoulder.) Satan: Patience, Iago. Patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy. IAGO: (Extremely sarcastically) Oh, there's a big surprise. That's an incred--I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from no surprise! What're we gonna do? We got a big problem here, A big prob- (Satan pinches his beak shut.) Satan: Yes, we do. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this...Rock in The Meteorite. Mario: I gotta be me! I just gotta be me! I’m sure I can handle the new generation. He ZZZIPS into the bathroom INT. BATHROOM Mario sticks the poster of The peppermint mocha on the bathroom mirror and blows her a kiss. Mario: (a'la Mask) HoId on, Sugar. Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight. He brushes his teeth, sprays on cologne and bats himself with a powder puff in flashes. He ZZZIPS into the bedroom. INT. BEDROOM Mario stands before a mirror and checks himself out. He changes and appears in a wild banana yellow zoot suit complete with a snap brim fedora. Mario: That's the ticket! Mario quickly searches his pockets. He pulls his pants pockets inside out. Mario (CONT.): Can't make the scene if you don't have the green. I better make a little stop. Mario ZZZIPS out of frame. BANK - NIGHT The street is quiet and empty, except for an Amazon delivery van parked across from the bank. INT. TRUCK Crowded with the sinister clan, it's been set up as a makeshift control room for the robbery. Mister Negative SLAPS a clip in his katana gun and looks down through the van's false bottom to Doctor octopus, who is standing in an open manhole working on a bundle of underground wiring. Mister Negative: What's the E.T.A.? Doctor Octopus: Another five minutes. Rhino synchronizes his watch. Rhino: Counting down... now. Rhino’s suit opens Alex O’hirn And presses a button on the side of a miniaturized headset he's wearing Rhino (CONT.) (into headset): Lookin' good here, my man. INTERCUT - DORIAN'S OFFICE He sits at his desk, speaking into a high tech walkie talkie. In the B.G. Dorian's wall-mounted video monitors display live shots of the club in full swing. Venom: Nice work, Rhino. You my friend are on your own now. We’ve got to make sure we’re seen downstairs. Electro (V.O.): Do it, man. The Kingpin‘s about to operate. INT. VAN Kingpin turns to his men. Kingpin: Sinister Clan... (cocks his gun) Let's do our duty and grab the booty. The clan gather their gear when suddenly the bank alarm starts RINGING. Electro zips down the hole to Venom. Electro: (Distorted And CONT.) What the fuck you doin', vee? EDDIE: Nothing! The alarm went off automatically! Kingpin: (to the others) C'mon! You keep that motor runnin'! EXT. BANK Kingpin and company race across the street with weapons drawn. ANGLE ON THE BANK DOORS Carnage and Vulture flatten themselves on either side of the door as Black Cat drops to one knee and quickly picks the lock. Suddenly the glass doors EXPLODE wide open as a HUMAN WHIRLWIND bursts out of the bank, shoots right past them and zig-zags up the street. Twenty dollar bills slowly drift down onto the stunned robbers in its wake. In an instant the whirlwind does a U-turn, zig-zag races back up to them and SCREECHES to a halt. The Mask, still in his banana yellow zoot suit and carrying huge sacks of money like Santa Claus, plucks those stray twenties from the air, one, two, three. The Mask: Sorry, fellas. Waste not want not! And ZZZOOM, he's off again. Kingpin pulls his gun. Kingpin: Get that fucker! Two cop cars now SQUEAL around the corner, their sirens blaring and ROAR up the street at the bank robbers. Vulture: Oh, shit! The clan race back to the van, dive inside and PEEL OUT. The police open fire as they roar after them in hot pursuit. Bullets tear into the van, blowing out the rear windows. CUT TO: EXT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA The building is a grey rectangular building with a pink and white striped sign with The Peppermint Mocha logo spread across the top of the building. On the left side of the building is the entrance with a red carpet and red door that reads "Gentleman Welcome" There is also a pink sexy woman silhouette on top as well as an dark red and white awning with a mocha with white and pink stripes on it above the entrance. There is also a neon sign that reads "Girls! Girls!! Girls!!!" and two banners that read "Artisanal Strippers" and "Locally Sourced Girls!!!" below the Peppermint Hippo sign. The die-hard crowd of TRENDIES is piled up outside as usual clamoring to get in. But a buzz of excitement begins to travel through the crowd as one by one they hear... A LIMOUSINE’S HORN But not just any limousine. As it slowly pulls up by the front of the club we realized it's long... longer... the longest limousine we’ve ever seen. Finally the passenger door rolls into sight and the limo comes to a halt. The door open and out comes Mario. Mario: How do? The crowd parts like the Red Sea as the Mario. Sashays to the front door. Butch: The lad of 7 Grand Dad and Agent Xero has returned! Droopy: Are You on the List? Mario: No, but I beIieve my friends are. Perhaps you know them? Franklin, Grant, Roosevelt and Jackson. No? He tosses a handful of loot in the air and struts into the club as the crowd scrambles for the cash. Butch: That's it! Nobody’s getting in! INT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA Luigi: Where have you been, Bro? Mario: Hi, Luigi. Did you get the camera? Luigi: Look, Bro, if the koopa troopa catch me with this they’ll kill us! Are you sure we gotta do this? Mario: It's my only chance, Luigi. Sml turned me into a nobody! But after today... Mario and Luigi are suddenly flooded with light. Mario squints into it. Mario: Shaggy! Shaggy is drinking at the fire hydrant with a straw. Mario and Luigi examine the video equipment on a dolly. Mario: Wow! All this is for us? Shaggy: Mmmmm. A La Slurpage! Mario: Oh, this is going to be so great, man! Mario begins to wheel video equipment away. Shaggy grabs it back. Shaggy: Dude, need fundage, man. Mario: Oh, your fee! Yeah, yeah! Right here. Mario reaches into his backpack, and brings out a bag, handing it to shaggy. Shaggy reaches into the bag and pull out an aerosol can. A look of ecstasy comes to his face. Shaggy: Cheddar! howl Cheddar Whizzie! He sprays an enormous amount of the cheese into his mouth. Mario and Luigi look close to nausea. Shaggy smacks his lips and coughs, spraying Mario and Luigi with cheese. Shaggy: Talk about Spe-scrumptious! Mario and Luigi: Son Of a bitch! Shaggy: Let's do it, my man! This is the first time we've gotten a good look at the place and it's a real eyeful. WAITRESSES make their way across the crowded dance floor with trays full of oversized drinks. Mario And Luigi is seated at a table on the other side of the club. Betty: Cigars? Cigarettes? Mario And Luigi? Mario turns to see BETTY BOOP standing with a box of tobacco wares strapped around her neck. In contrast to all the other guests, Betty's in black and white. BETTY BOOP: (continuing) Gee, it's swell to see you, guys. We miss you in Toontown. Mario: Wish I could say the same. What're you doing here, Betty? BETTY BOOP: Work's been slow for me since the cartoons went to color and those Pokémon fellas came here. But I still got it, Boys... (sings) 'Boop boop be-doop'. Luigi: Yeah, you still got it, Betty. (indicates Geezer) Who's Mr. Jocularity? BETTY BOOP: (Leans in): That's Marvin Acme, the gag king. Mario: Shoulda guessed. BETTY BOOP: He comes here every night to see those new girls. Mario And Luigi: What? BETTY BOOP: Sounds like you’ve never seen her, Eddie. Now the lights dim and Betty moves on. DJ Hippo: All right Guys, this is your DJ back from the bathroom looks like we have a surprise treat for you tonight: I can’t say the names because it’s a spoiler. If you haven’t masturbated before you got here... Welp you’re all gonna ejaculating And blushing. Here it is. DJ Hippo ran out the room, and the whole room goes pitch black and the runway’s lights beam yellow and dark blue pink slowly and then 2 shadows appear a blonde and a goth swaying hips and those two come out the fog reavling... yep Panty And Stocking Why don’t we take a look at the designs shall we? Panty: Panty has Speared earrings those kind that are small on top and small on the bottom she is wearing a blue jeans vest in a greenish yellow crop top, a jean short shorts with the threads on the bottom, a brown belt with a golden buckle, on her wrists she has got a beaded and golden bracelet on both sides, nails pedicured red and green and white platform flip flops Stocking: Stocking Has A Bow On her head, she wears a black long sleeved midriff with her blue bra showing and her black sleeves end at pinkish lining and the rest are webbed until it reaches the middle finger, a black skirt with jewel necklace on her waist and black boots with zippers Both are in choreography that's the style of Jojo Gomez and Jade Chynometh. If there were such a thing as fashion police these outfits would be arrested for disturbing the peace. And Stocking Ahh, ah-ah, ahh Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ahh, ah-ah, ah, ah-ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Mario And Luigi Blush while they smoke Luigi: Beautiful. Mario: HAJUY BUBBA! WHO ARE THEY? Panty Welcome to the show Stocking Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah We're here to let you know Panty Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Our time is now Stocking Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah Your Patience is running out And Stocking Ah, ah, ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ha, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah Feel the wave of sound As it crashes down Good Luck turning away This’ll make you wanna sta-a-a-ay We will be adored Tell us that you want us We won't be ignored Our time is your reward Now you need us Come and heed us Nothing can stop us Now What we have in store (ah-ah) All we want and more (ah-ah) We will break on through (ah-ah) Now it's time to finish you! Now there's a HOWL from behind Mario And Luigi. A Tex Avery type TOON WOLF, who came masquerading as a human, couldn't help but show his true colors at the sight of Panty And Stocking. He HOWLS as if it were a full moon. His tongue rolls out of his head and piles up on the floor like so much clothesline. His eyeballs telescope out of his head. And finally, the Wolf levitates and snaps rigid like an open jacknife. As the Wolf makes a rush for the stage, the Gorilla Bouncer grabs him by the suspenders. The Wolf, legs spinning madly, practically knocks Valiant's table over as he grabs at Panty And Stocking. But the Wolf has come to the end of his suspenders. He snaps back toward the Gorilla who is holding an anvil in front of the suspenders. CLANG! The Wolf hits the anvil and slides to the floor. The Gorilla calmly whisks him into a dustpan and carries him out. Luigi snatches a bottle off a passing WAITRESS' tray and sucks it down in one gulp. His head VIBRATES like an electric paint shaker. WWWOOOING! He CLAPS both hands on his head to hold it still. Screwball's TABLE Electro looks nervous AF as he appears beside Dorian. Screwball: What the hell are you doing here? Electro: We got trouble. You better come upstairs. Screwball immediately rises and hurries through the crowd towards the office. Luigi: Now there’s two girls for us! We even have the same management style Name. Hello name? Give us the names come on! Betty: They are Panty And Stocking Anarchy: Mistresses Of All Girl Power. Mario And Luigi: Panty And Stocking. 2 Names’ Warm The Soul Don’t Save Our Seats Boys Daddies’ gotta get 2 mommies Panty: I think I left a nickel onstage. Consider it my donation to the Sad-Ass Hoe Club. Classi: Ay! What did you say? Stocking: Panty said "sad ho," you sad-ass deaf twat. Panty and stocking laughs and Psyduck appears as panty opens the closet to change Panty: Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign saying "Stray Psyduck wanted." Psyduck: Psyduck. Mario: All right. Here we go. Keep it simple. No fancy stuff needed. Luigi: After all, They’re only strippers. We’re a world-famous Duo of action. Mario: No need to be nervous. Mario And Luigi Knock on the door P&S: Come in. Mario: Miss Anarchies, Mario Monroe at your service at your service, ma'am. Luigi: Luigi Monroe, miss. Stocking: No need to apologize, gentlemen. Panty: Our admirers often act like that. But thank you so much for coming. Stocking and I are being blackmailed, Mr... Uh Mario. Mario: I noticed by the ring on your finger you're engaged to be married. I presume that's relevant? Yes? Luigi: Very perceptive, Bro. Panty And Stocking: Our fianc is a well-to-do high-society Pimp who doesn't know we work in this low-class music hall. Mario: Someone is extorting money from you to keep your secret since your fianc would surely break the engagement, were he to find out. Stocking: Yeah. Every evening, after our performances I must travel a long distance and drop off a payment. I didn't know where to turn until a trusted family friend insisted. we seek out your services. Luigi: Where is your residence, if I may ask? Panty: The corner of Brighton and Lane. Mario: That's right behind the Punjab embassy. Luigi Stares At Panty’s tits Mario: Luigi? Luigi. Luigi: Sorry? Mario: I have just deduced the motive for the blackmail. Do you recall a case of demons? Luigi: That was the crime perpetrated by Our arch-nemesis, Bowser And his koopa troopa. Mario: I think this case is quite similar. It's not really money they're after. It's vengeance. They need Miss anarchies to be away from their home. Luigi: I don't follow, old top. The most famous single jewel in the world, the Star of Punjab will be on display starting tomorrow at the Punjab embassy. Luigi: This jewel is especially light-sensitive to the rays of a solar eclipse which is to happen tomorrow in bonneton at 9:03 tomorrow night. Everyone will be there, which is why the Star of Punjab is going to be purloined tonight. Luigi: Incredible. Mario: We gotta get to Miss Anarchies’ asap. Stocking: Why, thank you, sir. You're sweet. Psyduck: Psyduck! CUT TO: INT. DORIAN'S OFFICE Mister Negative and Electro enter to find kingpin, sitting there, gasping in pain with a bar towel pressed against a bloody wound in his side. Mister Negative: What the fuck happened to you? Kingpin: I'll be okay. Mister Negative: Where's the money? Kingpin: Someone hit the joint before us. Mister Negative: Who? Kingpin slaps a trading card a Mario Kingpin: This sonuvabitch. He wore the mask as a disguise. Next thing we know there's cops all over our asses. Electro: Where's beetle? Kingpin: What happened ain’t pretty. (swallows hard) I need a smoke. Electro: Yeah... sure. Get that, Doc. Suck on that. Electro taps out a cigarette, places it between Kingpin's lips and lights it by snapping his fingers... (Thunder And lightning can make a flame) but the flame doesn't draw. Beat. The cigarette tumbles from kingpin's mouth. Dorian glances back up and sees that Dr. Freeze's eyes are glazed over in death. Dorian leaps to his feat and hurls his chair across the room in anger. It SMASHES the mirror over his bar. DORIAN (CONT.): Son OF A BITCH! Who did this Eddy? WHO? Eddy is looking at the window. On it the plumbers and angels can still be seen in the hallway having a conversation. EDDY: That's them... That's the guys! Electro: The guys chatting with Panty And Stocking? Eddy: He's dead meat. Dorian grabs a .45 from his desk, checks the barrel and jams it in his coat. DORIAN: Come on! CUT TO: THE WINDING STAIRCASE Dorian and Eddy race down the steps, guns drawn. Dorian calls to Bobby by the hostess' stand. Satan (On the walkie talkie): Clear the club. Now! Bowser takes the first shot C.U. - TIE The shot-away piece of Mario's tie flutters to the floor. Mario: Hello! Mr Freeze: Club’s closed! Move it! You think I'm joking? Come on, move it! Bowser: Party's over, Let’s go! Kingpin: Panty, Stocking Get out of here. Get Iost! Kingpin: Okay, Plumbers. I wanna know where my money is, and I WANT IT RIGHT NOW! Mario And Luigi: Okay... Mario immediately whips out an old fashioned pull handle calculator, snaps on a green visor and starts tabulating. Mario: You got a 27.5% in T-Bills amortized over the fiscal 16-3/4% in stocks and bonds Panty And Stocking Laugh and cuts to Bowser, Kingpin And Mr Freeze look at each other wanting to kill the plumbers Luigi: Carry the nine and divide by the Gross National Product... Bowser: Ice this deadbeat. Mr Freeze energizes his cryogenic suit and starts blasting icicles BLAM. BLAM. The Mario bros. dodges the icicles BLAM. The Mask SPINS once and freezes in a la Elvis BLAM. The Mask SPINS again and stops dressed as a matador, the bullet whizzes under his cape. BLAM BLAM BLAM A hockey goalie bats the bullet away. A Russian Dancer leaps over the shot. Mr Freeze: Shit! Bowser: Shoot Them! https://youtu.be/ejTgl3cCyDo plays P and S: O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness. O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger. Shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. P and S: Repent, you motherfuckers! Panty swings her panties turning into her celestial gun and shoots Mr. Freeze but he fires an ice blast at panty and she shoots the ice blast. Mr. Freeze freezes the ground, causing panty to slip and fall, Mr. Freeze then walks up to panty, puts his hand in her mouth, and Panty fires three bullets at Mr. Freeze from Backlace. She takes out another pair of panties, which turns into another gun, gaining a glowing halo and pair of wings in the process. Panty then unleashes a fierce barrage of gunshots at Mr. Freeze, ending when Panty fires one last bullet that makes her opponent explode. Stocking Runs to bowser but she gets blown away by the explosion of a Bob-Omb and tries to get back up after the impact, but then a giant shadow looms in over her. Stocking looks up to see Bowser’s Flying Airship flying above them with Bowser at the very front, laughing and pointing at the goth. Bowser then clicks his fingers and suddenly all of the cannons all get ready to draw from the ship and aim down at stocking, while underneath the ship, a pack of Bob-Ombs are locked on stocking, ready to blow that drop on the goth. Bowser laughs as he commands the ships cannons get ready to shoot out the Bullet Bills outside of them and aim and lock on at stocking. Bowser then quickly flies far away from stocking as soon as the ships cannons are shot. In the distance as Bowser watches with his arms crossed. Suddenly stocking’s eyes go black and her pupils go white as she clenches her hand with shadows as her body becomes a la noob saibot. Stocking gets a black halo and pair of but their like maleficent’s wings and she raises her swords looking all shadowy. And flies and bowser fires the cannons and she slices the cannonballs and Bob-Ombs and breaks into the ship. Stocking does a lunging slash. She then flies at bowser and slashes him numerous times, each slash leaving behind a blue streak, before jumping into the air above him and doing a diving stab to the generator, causing the ship to explode. An explosion is seen where the opponent is. The explosion is in the shape of the Stocking symbol. And lands Mario And Luigi: Watch This Mario And Luigi brings their mega mushroom as the down on the kingpin, forcing him to the ground, then forcefully stomps on his back five times before kicking his away Back at the house Jeffy is sleeping in his crib peacefully and suddenly his stomach rumbles Jeffy: Stomach knock it off I’m trying to have a wet dream! The stomach rumbles again Jeffy: I just said shut up! It’s 3 In The Morning! Damn! The stomach rumbles trice Jeffy: JESUS HAROLD CHRIST! Why would my own tummy do this to me?! Something hates my sexy bod! Why would let my own tummy go rumbly this loud at THIS TIME AT NIGHT! Jeffy grabs his phone and turns on his flashlight Jeffy: Well at least today’s the last day of school. I’m just gonna grab a couple microwavable taquitos, with a nice glass of milk, and a bowl of baked beans with shredded cheese with takis to scoop with. After jeffy snuck out of the room he jumps off the ledge and lands on the couch not the one chef Peepee sleeps in and The speed goes a la howtobasic by microwaving the taquitos, pouring the milk into the glass, opening the can of baked beans, grabbing, opening the shredded cheese bag, sprinkling it onto the beans, grabs the takis bag and slowly opens the bag then suddenly he sees a Nutella snack and drink. Jeffy: Since when did daddy get this? Jeffy sweats Jeffy: The Hell? How did this house get so hot? Improve the air conditioner goddamn After Jeffy gets full he opens all the windows except his room’s and gets back to bed Audrey (V.O): Bedtime has officially been canceled! https://youtu.be/y4DpGrU8KbQ plays Jeffy is sleeping until the floor moves to the beat Jeffy: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! Is Chef Peepee playing his playlists again?! I hate his choice of music! It’s gonna be loud AF isn’t it Jeffy opens the window and gets blown away screaming Jeffy: THE FUCK?!? THAT IS WAY TOO LOUD! CLOSE! CLOSE! Damn! What kinda volume is that? 11k? How can you even hear that? Mario (Drops In): I‘m here. Luigi pops in Luigi: Me Too. Nico: E ai, galera? All right, everyone, listen up. Panty And Stocking brought us Mario And Luigi from the 80s, and let's show them some love, because I don't think they get out much like they used to. Pedro: Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yo! Everybody put their wings together and clap 'em as loud as you can. Flap 'em, clap 'em. I don't care, slap 'em. (Squawking) Nico: Party in the Ipanema, baby! Jeffy slam the windows one by one to block the sound complete with sync Jeffy: Man fuck daddy as soon as I get home we’re gonna a have a fucking talk man. Gonna shove his black dildo up his ass with no Vaseline we’re fighting. WE’RE FIGHTING! That’s it. I’m gonna punch I’m in the ribs I don’t give a damn if his calls the FBI. Mario walks into the house with Luigi, Panty And Stocking Jeffy: Way to keep people up daddy! We’re gonna be talking tomorrow when I get back from school INT. Satan’s Chamber - The Neitherrealm (Rasputin is crashing around, trashing stalactites, etc. when the Reliquary rockets Bartok into the underworld, slamming him intothe ground.) BARTOK: - Oh boy. Ow. what. Ow!! I tell you what ow! Lord Satan: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face. face in the Magic Mirror appears before Lord Satan Magic Mirror: What wouldst thou know, my Lord? Lord Satan: Magic Mirror on the wall, who now is the wisest one of all? Magic Mirror: Famed is thy bravery, Majesty. But hold, two humble plumbers I see. Sleeves cannot hide their sly strength. Alas, they are more wise than thee. Lord Satan: Alas for them. Reveal their names. Magic Mirror: Colored red and green as the Fall. Hair brown as dirt. Skin white as snow. Lord Satan: Mario And Luigi live! RASPUTIN: Who dares intrude on my solitude? Get out! Get out! OUT! (Rasputin picks Bartok out of the rubble squashing the very breath out of Bartok’s little body.) RASPUTIN: Bartok? RASPUTIN (CONT’D) Is that you? BARTOK: Ahh, Ooh…Master? alive …? You’re… RASPUTIN: Yeah, In a manner of speaking! (Rasputin drops Bartok. Rasputin’s eyeball pops out and lands in Bartok’s arms.) BARTOK: Whoa, that fell right out of there sir. RASPUTIN: Something’s happened. BARTOK: Yeah! Woopsey! RASPUTIN: I knew it! I could feel the dark forces stirring. BARTOK: I’m not surprised because I saw her. Anastasia … Oh! RASPUTIN: The Plumbers?! Alive?!! (Rasputit’s lips pop off.) (Bartok can’t take is eyes off them.) BARTOK: Ah, sir, your lips they’re ah RASPUTIN: That Romanov brat! BARTOK: Wow … Yeah, ain’t that a kick in the head. I guess a curse just ain’t what it used to be, huh sir? (Rasputin, in a rage, grips Bartok in one fist. He doesn’t even know he’s holding the bat as he squeezes for emphasis.) RASPUTIN: That’s why… (CONT’D): … I’m stuck here in limbo! (He raises Bartok for the final blow. Bartok SQUEAKS in terror. Rasputin finally realizes he’s about to crush Bartok.) RASPUTIN (CONT’D): My curse is unfulfilled. (He flings his hand. His hand still gripping Bartok, disconnects and hits the wall. He stops, realizing his hand is gone.) (Bartok carries Rasputin’s hand, over to him. collapsed onto his bed, filled with-self-pity.) BARTOK: Wow, Ooh, Oh … (HUMMING AND GRUNTING AS HE CARRIES THE HAND) Satan: Look at me. I’m falling apart. A wreck. BARTOK: Actually, considering how long you’ve been dead you look pretty good. Sir is this the face of a bat who would lie to you? Come on, for a minute there, you had your old spark back. Satan: If only I hadn’t lost the gift from the dark forces, the key to my powers. (Bartok picks up the Reliquary from the rubble.) BARTOK: What? You mean this Reliquary? (Rasputin’s eyes widen.) Satan: Oh, Where did you get that? BARTOK: Oh, I found it … Satan: (Interrupts) GIVE IT TO ME! (He grabs the Reliquary.) BARTOK: Alright, Alright, Don’t get so grabby. Hades: If we get the rock in and out ba-boom! We take over the Metaverse. model of the Metaverse sits on Hades' table. We see the rock floating by its holder Hades: But now, if Mario And Luigi finds us in hell City nuke explodes Then we're through! holds up Pain and Panic Okay, we can adjust. puts them down I got it! pulls out twenty cards with Yzma, Turbo, Scar, Gaston, Govenor Ratcliffe, Captain Gantu, Randall, Jafar, Tamatoa, Ursula, Bellwether, Chernabog, Mother Gothel, DOR-15, Dr. Facilier, Prince John, Cruella de Vil, Shere Khan, Maleficent and Hans on them Hades: I got these real nasty bad guys, we find the rock before Mario and Luigi and how do you do, we're livin' on easy street! Or Main Street. Whatever. Satan: 15 Will not be enough! Hades: These are the guys I needed to conquer that kingdom Satan: We have every one of the world’s most despised enemies there is in the history of the cosmos more than the magic kingdom! Yautjas, Marra, Gremlins! (Stroking the Reliquary) My old friend, together again. (Holding it, closing his eyes) Ah, Ha Ha! Now my dark purpose will be fulfilled, and the last of the Monroes will DIIIIIIIIIEEEE! Hahahahaaa! In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning, and the nightmare I had was as bad as can be. It scared me out of my wits! a corpse falling to bits! then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was me! I was once the most mystical man in all the realms (Ooh Ahh Ooh) When The Mario Bros. Reunited they made a mistake (Ooh Ahh Ooh) The new world order made our foes pay but one little girl triggered the way, Little Erma beware the Revenants Are awake! Chorus: In the dark of the night evil will find them in the dark of the night just before dawn Satan: Revenge will be sweet, (Chorus join) When the curse is complete All: In the dark of the night Satan: They’ll be gone! I can feel that my powers are slowly returning tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell! As the pieces fall into place, I'll see the outsiders crawl in a pace, Dasvedanja Mario And Luigi, farewell! Chorus: In the dark of the night, terror will find them Satan: Terrors the least I can do! In the dark of the night, evil will brew Satan: Soon they will feel, that their nightmares are real In the dark of the night Satan: Until were be through In the dark of the night evil will find them (find them) In the dark of the night, terror comes true (Kill them) Satan: You bastards, here’s a sign, it's the end of the line, In the dark of the night (2x) Satan: Come, My minions Rise with your master, Let your evil shine Find them now, Yes thrive ever laster In the dark of the night (3x) Vengeance Will Be Mine! Goodman: Breaking news Mkay! Last night The barrier has broken down! now we’re gonna be apart of the ‘metaverse’, more on the story as it develops. Mario: They've been laughin' since I can't remember, But they're not gonna laugh anymore No more Teabagger of Society No more "One of the Fags" Like before...! Jackie Chu: No more making algebra tests 'til September! No more lookin' at dumbshits like him! Bully Bill: No more havin' chances to cheat! Joseph: No more eating mystery meat! Richard: No more gym! Atso: No more gym! Cody: No more gym! Junior: NO MORE GYM! Lisa: Gonna move to the mall! Richard: Gonna live at the pool! Mario: Gonna talk to Masane And not feel like a fool! Chorus: 'Cause... After today, I'm gonna be cruising! Mario: After today, Shall be mine! Chorus: After today, my brains'll be snoozing! Mario: If I don't faint, I'll be fine! Mitsu: I've got forty more minutes Momo: of Home Economics... Zeke: Then down with the textbooks, Gene: And up with the comics! Mario: Just think of all the time I've been losin', Finding the right thing to say! Mario/Chorus: But things'll be goin' my way Chorus: After today! Mario: She looked right through me And who could blame her? I need a new me, Plus some positive proof That I was never a goof! And... Mario/Chorus: After today, I'm gonna be cruisin' Lucy Loud: No more pep rallies to cut, bleh! Mario/Chorus: After today, my brains'll be snoozin'! Bus Driver: I'm gonna sit and nut Jeffy: I've got less than an hour And when this day has ended, I'll either be famous... Jackie Chu: Or you'll be suspended! Mario/Chorus: Just think of all the time I've been losin' Waiting until I could say... Gonna be on my own Kiss the parents good-bye! Gonna party from now Til the end of July! Things'll be goin' my way, After today!!! Mario: I wish that this was the day after today Jeffy arrives at school and everyone is outside of the classroom and turns the knob but it’s locked Jeffy: Why’s Everyone outside? Richard: Because there’s new students here and it’s gonna smell even poorer then last time I swear to god Jeffy: I’m sorry? Richard: The teacher told us yesterday at the last second Jeffy: I thought you told me that Jackie Chu (through the speaker): Hello class you’re wondering why you’re outside the classroom. There are new students here today. I got something to tell you. Junior: What? Jackie Chu: I’m the principal Now because Steinbeck died in an assassination We go into the school to see on the chalkboard the last day of school Cody: Can’t believe that this is the last day of school Joseph: I know dude this was basically my home Junior: Yeah I know Cody: Wait you’re sad because I hate school because it’s shit Jackie Chu: Alright class today is the last day of school so I don’t have to see your stupid asses for 2 months as you all know this is possibly my final day with you because I’ll tell you why at the end we have new students their names: Paul Tanner Pixie Goblin Zelda Emily D-Money Paulina Black Yoshi Audrey Dot Lotta Hilda Erma Lucy Marylin Sasha Britknee Crystal Sprinkle Junior Junior Chaz And Kanna So tell your neighbor about yourself and while you’re doing that I’m gonna be googling archive of samurai jack cause I’m so Asian Richard: Called It Richard puts on clip on his nostrils Jeffy: Hey, My name is Jeffy, see? It says it on my shirt, Jeffy. Erma turns to jeffy with her head literally backwards with a crick of the neck Jeffy: HOLY SHIT! Hilda: Hello Koopa, I'm Hilda. Joseph: Actually My Name Is ‘Snickering’ Ate Off Hitler Hmhahahhahahe! Jackie Chu: Dumb! X7 I thought I told you that isn’t funny! Joseph: FUCK YOU TEACHER! Jackie Chu: DUUUUUUUUUUMB! GET YOUR STUPID ASS TO DETENTION! Hilda Raises And Eyebrow Hilda: Fuck? (Hilda says it very adorably) Dot: Salutations Shy Guy I’m Dot. Tanner: (In His Head) “Oh Shit, Here We Go Again.” Dude, you’re a nerd! Dot: Why? Tanner: Because you’re four eyes! That’s a medical disorder four eyes! Hell you remind me of Cody Cody: Tanner You son of a bitch you better be picking on me again! Cause We’re not Doing this again! Dot: Heard kamek? Pick someone else Tanner: Long Time no see no arms? Paul: FUCK YOU NO EYES! Atso: HAHAHAAAAHAAAHAAHA! Lucy: Your size revivals snorlax Atso: Thanks, haahahahahaha! Lucy: I’m Lucy. You are? Atso: My name's Atso, it's short for Fatso because I'm fat! HUHHUHHUH! Lucy: Were you considered thicc? Atso: That's what my friends tell me! Felipe: PATRICK?! Patrick: FELIPE?! Holy Hell! I haven’t seen you since first grade! This is crazy AF! Felipe: I’ve been in the Fortnite loco lately and I still haven’t got fully through! Jeffy: I see you’re a man a culture as well Kanna: Does you take your ken doll everywhere you go? Cody: ‘Sighs’ If you must know He’s my boyfriend Kanna (Unamused): He’s a doll Jospeh: (Gasps) Dude! Did you hear that!? Kanna knows me! Audrey: Can we just get through the day so we can get out so we can party tonight? Jeffy: Well screw this school especially him! Bully Bill: Yeah I hate you dipshit Jeffy: Don’t you start today… Joseph: I bet him 1000 dollars that he won’t beat you up for a day Richard: Seem Reasonable Jeffy: I’ll be the judge of that Patrick: Yeah this is crazy! Jackie Chu: Yeah I agree so let ponder on a few memories We go back when Jackie Chu enter the classroom in Summer School Jackie Chu (Past): Hello Class my name is Jackie Chu Junior: Yeah memories Cody: Yep remember the show and tell Cody shows his meds Joseph: All I can remember is your medical disorders Cody: But I’m done with all that shit! Bully Bill: I might regret this but what are the two Cody: An Allergy to Cotton Jackie Chu: That… Correct how are you alive Cody: I have no idea how do people with water allergy live with blood being mostly water! Junior: I remember the last day of summer school with me passing by bitch slapping Steinbeck’s scowl off, come to think of it he deserves it Toad: Yeah fuck him Felipe: He was loco Junior: I also remember my vacation Cody: Yeah I remember KEN! Joseph: For the last time He just a fucking doll dude! Cody: You literally saw him living Joseph: Shut Up. Just Shut. Up Bully Bill: Nerd Jackie Chu: Yeah I remember reappearing a few days in first grade Junior: Before that we had a old man and a pedophile Cody: And he raped me. Now I realized I loved it. Bully Bill: NERD! Jeffy: Shut Up Bill! Damn! Toad: Agreed Jackie Chu: Yeah and I remember your projects what you wanna grow up Patrick: Yeah That was crazy! Junior: Yeah and we burned down the school! ….sadly Jackie Chu: Than second grade with you two assholes! Bully Bill: Thank You Douchebag! Jeffy: Oh Wow! I don’t know who could that be? Bully Bill: Hell is freezing over right now Jackie Chu: And That was weird and Than third grade with two science fairs the second since I was killed and the second which had Junior nearly Kill us all! Junior: At Least we know which is more flammable between Kerosene, Gasoline, And Nitroglycerin The Bell Rings Jackie Chu: CLASS OVER! EVERYONE GO HOME! I’M GOING TO STRIP CLUB! GO HOME Radio: Orangutan Pussy Orangutan Pussy Jeffy: What Is This? Mario: Justin Bieber’s Single? Jeffy: Right. (He grabs the boombox And Runs off.) Mario: (Facepalms) WTF?! Jeffy: YEET! (The scene shows Jeffy throwing the boombox in the lake, the same fate as the TV.) Mario: (mad) JEFFY, WHY DID YOU THROW THE BOOMBOX IN THE LAKE!!! Jeffy: Oh, it's called a Spongeboombox, daddy. You see the sponges can listen to the boombox. Mario: I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR STUPID PUNS, JEFFY! GET YOUR ASS IN THE COUCH! YOU'RE GROUNDED!!! Jeffy: Gladly. The Living Room (The scene cuts to Mario yells at Jeffy in the couch.) (Work in progress for SML fans and Jeffy haters.) Jeffy: WHAT THE HELL DADDY? Mario: JEFFY, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO YO‘ DADDY THAT WAY! Jeffy: (growls) SUCK MY ANUS! (Mario smacks Jeffy in the face.) Mario: GO! NOW!! Jeffy: I will! Fuck! (Jeffy walks out of the living room.) Jeffy: (rage) DADDY! HOW DARE YOU REPLACED ME WITH THAT BABY WITH A MUSTACHE! Mario: His name is Benjamin and he's a way better son than you! Jeffy: You could’ve me his name! I LITERALLY HAVE TO GO MEDITATE BEFORE I RIP OFF MY NUTS AND USE THEM FOR STRESS BALLS! (Exhales Stressfully) DAMMIT! Mario: (to himself) I knew I should've told the doctor to keep the hypnotism permanent. Jeffy's Room Jeffy: Can't believe it. Daddy grounded me, TWICE! He grounded me for throwing the TV in the lake, then again me for throwing the boombox in the lake! THAT'S BULLSHIT!! God! But wait! (Eyes move sideways) I know just the way to get revenge! THAT’S IT (Jeffy angrily sits in his bed. Bowser Junior knocks on his window.) Jeffy: Who could that be? (Jeffy sees Bowser Junior at the window.) Jeffy: Junior? Junior: Oh, hey, Jeffy! What's wrong? Jeffy: Well, my daddy double grounded me for throwing the boombox in the lake and I find it bullshit! Junior: I'm really sorry to hear that, Jeffy. Tell ya what, I know just the way to get revenge on your dad! If you like, I can tell you about it! Jeffy: Tell me. The Roof Mario: JEFFY!!!! (Jeffy looks up at Mario on the roof.) Mario: Bring that ladder back to me right now! (Jeffy angrily threw the ladder.) Jeffy: No thank you! Mario: I AM REALLY MAD AT YOU, JEFFY!! You are going to stay in your room, and you are going to think about what you done right now! Jeffy: Never! You’re not the boss of me! Mario: Yes I am, Jeffy. I am SO the boss of you! Jeffy: Bitch! Mario: It may be a free country, but as long as you’re living under MY roof, you live by MY rules! Jeffy: (Mockingly) It may be a free country, but as long as you’re living under MY roof, you live by MY rules! HA! You ain’t gonna do shit! Fuck you, daddy! Mario: Don’t you dare talk back to me like that, Jeffy! You will do whatever i say, whenever I say! (Jeffy doesn't care, then he walks inside.) Mario: What are you doing? I AM TALKING TO YOU, JEFFY!! Jeffy: What Does it look like I’m doing? Grabbing your hat (Jeffy walks outside and has Mario’s hat, then he’s about to rip it apart) Mario: Do not rip apart the hat! Jeffy, I swear! IF YOU RIP APART I’M GONNA KILL YOU!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? Jeffy: I heard you. Now Say goodbye to your hat, daddy! Mario: JEFFY!! JEFFY!! (Mario falls out of the roof and got hurt.) Jeffy: How do you like that, daddy? That'll teach you not to mess with me. Dirty Cuck! Mario: I’m sorry that teaches me? Jeffy: Why yes I mean look at you get to the gym you’re letting yourself go you pear shaped cunt! Unfortunately you’re never gonna get the pussy Mario: GET YOUR ASS BACK ON THE COUCH, YOU BRAT!! Jeffy: Certainly The Living Room Again (The scene cuts to the living room.) Jeffy: Okay! Daddy, This Is Getting Outta Hand! Mario Hides His Fortnite Data In his Drawer Jeffy: Yo daddy! You seen my fortnite data? (Mario hides the Fortnite game in his secret stash.) Mario: Ha! ha! Now you'll never be allowed to play Fornite again! Jeffy: Joke’s on you I got the app for it! And my data’s on it too (Mario delete the app. Jeffy gasps.) Jeffy: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! Mario: I DID THAT BECAUSE YOU RIP MY HAT APART! Now you're grounded! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN! (Jeffy runs away from Mario while screaming in disgust.) Jeffy: ALRIGHT! Damn! Mario: DAMN IT, JEFFY! IF YOU DON'T WANNA GO TO YOUR ROOM, THEN I'LL LOCK YOU UP IN THE CLOSET! Jeffy's Biggest Punishment Ever Jeffy: (frightened) Hell No! Daddy! I AIN’T DO NOTHIN’!! Mario: YOU GET BACK HERE! YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME FOREVER!!! -- Jeffy: The Closet. Like That’s Ever Gonna Scare Me Shitless Mario: FOR YOUR CONCERN, YOU’VE BEEN RUINING MY ENTIRE LIFE LONG ENOUGH!! Jeffy: (angrily) DADDY!! WHY DO I HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM!!? Mario: BECAUSE YOU RIP APART MY HAT MAN!!! Jeffy: LOOK DADDY, THIS IS GAY AF! Mario: JEFFY!! DON'T YOU GIVE ME AN ATTITUDE! Jeffy: I Bet you like to stick your finger up in your anus! Uh! Mario: JEFFY! BE APPROPRIATE! Jeffy: (rolls his eyes) Oh my god I do not want to hear your shit TODAY. Mario: YOU BETTER NOT ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME! Jeffy: Suck My ass! Mario: DON'T TALK SHIT TO ME! (Mario walks out.) Jeffy: At least I smacked hoes. Mario: You also don't hit women either! Jeffy: Well then why are we standing here screaming at each other?! Mario: Because you started it! Jeffy: Daddy! Is There A Lightbulb In Here? I Got An Erection while we were playing Hide And Seek! Mario: An Erection. That means you’re gay Jeffy: Noooo I was thinking about gi-da-raffes fucking bunnies. Now I Have To Beat My Meat! Mario: So you’re a furry? Jeffy: I don’t think I heard of these ‘Furries’ but I doubt that Mario: I don’t care! You are gonna stay in your room closet until tomorrow morning! And I swear if see you leaving your room closet even once, I will cast you out!! YOU GOT THAT!? Jeffy: (Cracked Voice) Yes (Clears Throat) Yes, daddy. Mario: Good! Jeffy: Mommy‘ll come here any sec now. Mario: No one's gonna save you, Jeffy! Jeffy: I take that back (The scene cuts to the living room again, Mario sits on the couch.) Mario: Pph! So what if I’m being too hard on Jeffy. He deserved it after all the swearing rampages, the screaming and the horrible things he did like throwing the TV and the boombox at the lake. (Mario is feeling calm now.) Mario: Jeffy will never have to do anything bad if he’s locked in his room closet. Now to relax and watch some TV. Jeffy: (off-screen) HEY!!! HEY DADDY!!! Real quick! If there’s a flashlight in here, I’ll check to see if there’s any lotion and tissues in here and I prefer mine lavender Mario: (to himself) Just ignore him. Jeffy: I know you hear me! The lightbulb isn’t working! Wait. I think there’s some tissues in here- Oooh! I found the light switch! Mario: Just ignore him! Jeffy: Here we go. Brittany Wong. On my recommendations? Let’s take a look (Mario Gets off the couch.) Mario: That’s it. Jeffy: Rub (20x) (Mario sneaks into Jeffy’s room) Mario: Fuck you and your masturbating ass Jeffy: AAAAAAAAAHHHH! That was even better than last time! (Mario unlocks the closet door) Jeffy: Hey daddy! You gotta see this- Mario: Stop! I... HAVE HAD ENOUGH TO HEAR FROM YOUR SCREAMING!! If you’re not gonna learn to shut your face, then i’m gonna have to make you learn! (Mario holds duct tape on his hand.) Jeffy: Come on, daddy. I’ve learned my lesson. But this won’t involve ripping my lips off will it? Mario: I thought of something worse! The Punishment (Mario is forcing Jeffy to write "I am a retard" a 1000 times on paper.) Mario: (Angry) Keep writing! Jeffy: I am writing goddamn it. Mario: That's right. Jeffy: This’ll involve capitalizing right? Mario: That's a fact. Jeffy: Look I got a fortnite match in 30 minutes and I’ll be damned if I waste them on writing Mario: You’re midlife cliche. Jeffy: Daddy, How about I write with my other hand? My left one hurts like hell! Mario: I'm gonna go see Black Yoshi. You stay here and write more! And don't you ever do anything until you're done! Jeffy: I only did half! Mario: Then you have 500 left. (Mario is taking away Jeffy's phone) NOW YOU LOST YOUR PHONE FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK! Jeffy: You Ever Shut up, daddy? Mario: Don't you talk back to me. Jeffy: FINE!! Mario: I want a yes, sir. Jeffy: Yes, sir... Cuck-A-Lot Mario Kicks Jeffy’s Crotch Mario: JUST FECKING BEHAVE! JESUS! Jeffy (Cracked Voiced): ALRIGHT I’LL JUST FINISH THE 500, DAMN! (Mario shuts the door.) Jeffy: How am I gonna nut with a weary left hand My right? Jeffy's Big Mess Up Jeffy: Here you go, daddy. (Jeffy accidentally spill the coffee cup on the floor.) Jeffy: (panicking) Oh Christ. Mario: It’s only an accident. Jeffy: Oh thank god! Mario: SIKE!! I told you not to spill the cup on the floor! And what do you do? You spill it! That's very stupid of you and i'm sick of it! Jeffy: Look, daddy. It was just an accident, Man! Mario: Oh, for your concern I CALL IT STUPIDITY! The End of Jeffy Mario: Jeffy, I'll get a towel for you! Jeffy: Thanks! (Mario gets a paper towel.) Mario: Here you go, Jeffy. Jeffy: The Hell? Mario: Now go clean up. Jeffy: Alright, daddy! Mario: Now time to watch some TV! Insert making a mess here Mario: Jeffy. DON'T EVER MAKE A BIG MESS IN MY HOUSE! Jeffy: Not on me. Mario: Thanks Insert destruction montage here Mario: YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! YOU DESTROYED EVERY ROOM I HAD!! Jeffy: Dipshit, You started this! (Mario shakes with fury, then becomes ominously calmly.) Mario: What I'm gonna do to you. (Mario had an idea.) Mario: I'm so ANGRY!! First I'm gonna break every bone in your body. Yeah, And then I'm gonna hulk smash you with a belt. Jeffy: Daddy! You're scaring the hell outta me! Mario: So, you're scared, huh? Okay. Next I'm gonna TEAR your eyes out of the sockets with a katana! Jeffy: (Cracked Voice): A KATANA?! Mario: Exactly And you wanna know what i'm gonna do next? Jeffy: What? Mario: I'm gonna break your every single bone inside your anatomy and you're gonna get arrested by the FBI and i'm gonna feel really good about myself and never show remorse. Jeffy: Oh my god! You have gone apeshit! (Mario prepares to do what he said to Jeffy.) Jeffy: (terrified) Come on, daddy. Give me a reason why you hate me.... despite you adopting me for millions of dollars. Mario: How about a hundred reasons why I hate you Let me explain... (The time card reads "2 Hours Later" with Mario explains why he hates Jeffy.) Mario: (yelling) I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOTIC BRAT!! All you do is complain, cuss at me and asked me if i'm high, threw TVs and boomboxes in lakes, threw temper tantrums, break stuff, play Fortnite everyday, assaulting innocent people, attacking them and ruin my life like everyone else does to me! I'm getting tired of your bad behavior and all you do is call me a faggot, get me arrested! As for the lottery ticket I wanna run away from this house and never come back! Jeffy: But your fans need you! Mario: It was the chosen one! It was said that we would resist the dark web, not join it! Bring balance to the channel... not leave it in darkness! I HATE YOU! I trusted you! And now They think I’m an annoying jerk and I QUIT! (We cut back to Mario And Jeffy yelling at each other.) Mario: And the reason I hate you the MOST, Jeffy, is because of SuperMarioLogan! Now why would Anyone in the atmosphere ever create a stupid channel like this! Why would he created it just to torture me! He can create anything else, but it's okay. Any last words before I call the cops? Jeffy: I'm really, really, sorry. Mario: Yeah right. That’s what they all say. Jeffy: Come on man! I apologized! Mario: Too late! I'm telling! But first... (Jeffy shrieks) Mario: FIRST.... I've gotta beat my meat. Jeffy pauses Mario: Don’t leave me. Stay where you are! Right fucking here! I’ll be back. Jeffy faints Later in court The Court Session Judge Goodman slams his hammer on the podum, signaling the session has started. Judge Goodman: The court is now in session! We have the main subject, Jeffy Francois! Rosalina is his defender and Mario Mario is his opponent! Now, Francois? How would you plead yourself? Jeffy: For your concern I plead myself not guilty, I've done nothing wrong! Get this. Many times he fucked my ass I told you he intruded my house stabbed a pumpkin aaaand A plane killed my drone! Rosalina: He's telling the truth, judge! Just let him go! Judge Goodman: Order! Anyways, Mario! Your explanations Mario: Well, I've told Jeffy to be a good boy, but he keeps disrespecting me and won’t even pay attention! First, he and Rosalina got me humiliated on the news just because I spanked Jeffy! And Then, he locked me out of the house for not giving him chocolate cake and most of all, after his mother, Nancy was taken to prison and Jeffy promised to be a good boy if I adopted him! But I thought he keep his promise but NO! Rosalina: Allow me to explain. My husband is a fanatic on child abuse and he was Just wants to tear our family apart... (Rosalina’s last sentence is drowned out by very loud disagreement of the jury, Rosalina looks dejected.) Jeffy: I'd like to take this moment to say... Daddy‘s the cancer to this state. I tried to stop him, but would he listen to me? Hell to the no! I’m beginning to think we’re better off without him. You know that? The entire jury gasps. Mario turns on the TV showing clips from Jeffy's Bad Word, Locked Out and every bad video so far. Judge Goodman: OH MY GOD! Well, the decision has been made. Jeffy has been annouced GUILTY! Rosalina: WHAT?!? Jeffy: {Very nervous} Shit. L-L-L-Le-Le-Le-Le-Let me explain. There’s been a misunderstanding. No! I didn't mean for... Yipe! Look, I’m sorry I called you... Daddy! Hey! The cops grab Jeffy and drag him away. Jeffy: DADDY!!! Judge Goodman: Court dismissed. Jail (Jeffy is behind bars) Jeffy: Does this mean I’m not in the next Season? Jeffy Hears rattling From behind Rattlesnake Jake: Do you mind if we forego the whole creepy bounty hunter thing? A pair of hands pet a custom doll Junko: I can turn it on if you want. I can talk about the Dadaist patterns of arterial spray. Mcleach: Tough to see you in this light. approaches Jeffy: Well? Rattlesnake Jake: When we get out of here, and we will......bullets fly. Enoshima, Rattlesnake Jake And Mcleach come to the light and smile nastily while jeffy shrinks to the floor Jeffy: I just shat my pants. At Home Rosalina: YOU DIRTY BASTARD! YOU ARRESTED MY SWEET BOY!! Come on, Mario! You're better than this! Jeffy was just suffering a mental breakdown! Mario: Bitch Please! Jeffy doesn't have a mental breakdown, I’ll have you know that Jeffy was trying to ruin my life! If you love Jeffy so much, why don't you just marry him. Rosalina: I’m not a pedophile, thank you very much. Mario: Exactly! As long as you're living under my roof, I forbid you from seeing Jeffy! Rosalina: What?! WHY NOT!? Mario: Because Everyone In this town uses me as a punching bag for a web series and I’m not to blame you and jeffy are responsible for your actions and when will learn that your actions have consequences?! Rosalina: OH! HERE’S A NEWS FLASH! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT! WE DON’T NEED LUIGI BECAUSE HE’S JUST A WORTHLESS SCAREDY CAT! WE HAVE NO MORE USE FOR BATTLING AND EXPLORING. ADVENTURING AND DISCIPLINE ARE NOW FORBIDDEN UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH! AND CONSEQUENCES AREN’T NEEDED FOR OUR ACTIONS THE ONLY THING THIS CHANNEL GIVES IS ZERO FUCKS! Mario: Well then I have 3 questions: 1: Why did you kick Luigi out? 2: What do you mean we have no more use for adventures or fighting back? And 3: WHY DID SOCIETY BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! Rosalina: 1: Luigi’s the sidekick you’re the hero Luigi’s the coward you’re the bravest 2: The world isn’t really your oyster like it used to be! And lastly YOU’RE JUST A DOWN TO EARTH PERSON WHOSE BETRAYED FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG! Mario: Luigi’s brave too Rosalina: For your concern he’s never brave. Mario: What about that barrier? Rosalina: Why do you worry about the barrier? God! Let’s post the videos before we get sued for everything! Mario: I recommend Vimeo or dailymation why don’t we use that? Rosalina: YouTube’s the only one for us Mario: Oh-Oh-Oh I’m sorry, It’s that you’re just jealous because we used YouTube for a long time. But We’re no longer safe here We all have to disappear completely off the grid! So we can have a better chance of being a better channel Rosalina: What The Fuck Are You Talking About?! YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP LATER! REHASHES CAN GIVE YOU HAPPINESS RECYCLING PLOTS CAN FIND YOU FRIENDS AND FILLER WILL SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! WE’RE ABSOLUTELY NOT MOVING TO DAILYMATION OR VIMEO YOUTUBE’S THE ONLY PLACE FOR US! AND IF YOU THINK THE COPYRIGHTS ARE COMING FOR US THEN WE’LL JUST MAKE FAMILY FRIENDLY VIDEOS UNTIL IT BLOWS OVER!!! Jesus Christ! Mario: WHO CARES ANYMORE?! THERE’S NO WAY OUT OF THIS! THIS VIDEO IS OUR LAST! There’s No More Quality. Come To Think Of It... The only way left to quality is to give what the fans want, finish every scrapped series and bring back the originals Rosalina: We’ll Find A Way Out Of This I Doubt It’s Be our last video We ARE making quality There won’t be promises on giving fans what they want Fuck The Series We’re better off with movies and shorts and Originals are useless we have to stick with modern times. Mario: Listen to me Our channel fell over and died Rosalina: Now Get Your Ass In The Goddamn Gaming Room. Mario reaches for the watch Mario: Hey Rosalina Rosalina: Yes? Mario: You will forget all about Jeffy for- (Rosalina grabs the watch and smashes it.) Rosalina: Oh, I’ll forget about it all right. I'LL FORGET ABOUT YOU!!! (Rosalina starts pummeling Mario But interrupts it by as Mario grabs a pair of dimensional scissors, pushes her and stabs her forehead pulls it out cleans it and looks at it with rotating and takes a snip snap) Mario: I Found Them. I FOUND THEM! Echos I CAN’T BECAUSE I HAVE TO TEACH JEFFY A LESSON I ALMOST GOT FUCKING ARRESTED AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S WORSE? I LOST MY GODDAMN JOB AT THE NINTENDO COMPANY WHAT THE HEEELLL?! At least I got panty, stocking and Luigi on my side. Mario opens the door but The sml rap plays from the living room downstairs muffled Mario: During the apocalypse?! We zoom into Mario’s brain and we see his emotions they look like Jeffy’s but different Sadness Mario: Ah, That damn song! I swear this is gonna make me lose my very last shit. Anger Mario: Rhythm’s getting louder, Guys! Joy Mario: Then we gotta move faster! Don’t let anyone see the ticket. He sees the countdown with it “18 seconds ‘till showtime” on it until the video begin Mario: 2 seconds here. I'm the one in this beanie Remember? This story's about me, not them. I’m the protagonist and hades is one of the antagonists you’re about to see. OK. You got it? All right. We're gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down. Mario damages the 4th wall motherboard and runs back upstairs. Joy Mario: Guys, Status report. Anger Mario: I’m REALLY getting tired of this song! Mario barges In crashing the background Mario: Stop the music! Angry birds. If you’re watching this now ignore everyone in the background and know this: We should let bygones be bygones because Lord Satan created his regime and I really need your help! Woody: Wait a minute wasn’t our most despised enemies coming back from the dead?! Where did you get that outfit? Mario: 1: Yes 2: I thought it would be nice to have a redesign Mario: What’s the squirrel outfit for? Cut to squirrel suit Woody: We need it For a trap for bad luck Mario: I have my good luck charm. Points at Cri-Kee Shrek: Definitely not how luck works nowadays but that’s a maybe Chef Peepee: Name one reason why you’re acting like this Mario: Well... Well, at first, I was afraid I was petrified. I kept thinking that I could never live I could barely fly. And I spent oh, so many nights thinking how he did me wrong - And...and I grew strong - And I learned how to get along... Go on, now go! Mario kicks the camera people down Mario: I’m walking out the door! Just turn around now... Mario grabs a grenade and pulls the pin Mario: It is I who have the floor! Mario slides out the gaming room and the grenade explodes Mario: Weren't you the one who tried to kill me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Hell No! Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not me! Well, I will survive........! As long as I know how to hate I know I'll stay alive Mario shoots a couple cameras to sync the instrumental Mario: I've got all my life to live, And I've got all my love to give! And I will survive Mario: I will survive! Mario’s emotions: We will survive! Mario: I'm a survivor I've got the eye of a tiger Been training again and eating my fiber You've been staying alive? Well, I've been staying alive You queer Watch where you sit, when I spit my saliva, like boom You've never seen a slave did you? Rocking and shocking and dropping and pop and locking too? Watch what I can do with out no autotune! With a flute Mario plays the flute on autotune Mario: If you try to keep me down, I'll just come back stronger You try to cut me short, I'll just come back longer If you beat me at ping pong, You’ll have to suck my ding dong-er Give me my keys, I am ready to drive one thing I know.... I will survive! I - will - sur - vive.......... You Guys need to be listening I don’t give a shit on why I should wear the squirrel suit while satan’s ninjas will come here any second and I failed, and failure is unacceptable! If they ever show their faces again, I kill them with Luigi. Chef Peepee: You know what I’m fucking getting tired of this channel the restraining order had everyone throwing and shooting spitballs and eat my eyeballs Shrek: Screw This Channel! We’re Done! Mario: This can't be happening. I want them DEAD! Putting a happy face on things. What an interesting philosophy. At what point did you forget THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!?!?! Chef Peepee: Then why are we here and screaming our asses off?! Mario: Because This is a matter of life and death there’s no time for stupid questions! Right now No one cares or watching this show the internet is panicking about the Revenants coming to town Chef Peepee: There’s No More sml? YEAH! IM TAKING MY MOTHERFUCKING JACKET! FUCK YOU LOGAN! WE’RE MOVING OUT NIGGA! Shrek: We’re taking all the food including Sara Lee And everything Screw this! Mario: If bowser doesn’t die I’m retiring. FULLY. I AM RETIRING! I’M DONE WITH YOUR SWORD I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT! After packing Daisy (O.S.): Everybody say, "Bye, house." Mario, Shrek, Black Yoshi, Chef Peepee And Tony The Tiger flip off the house Daisy: I didn’t say flip it off We zoom out to the all seeing eye where moon butterfly is watching. {Slight pause, the hyenas appear behind Moon.} Moon: Kill Him. {The hyenas take off after him; Moon stands motionless. Mario And company is chased up the entire length of the road. They reached the lip only to see a sheer drop on the other side. Having no choice they ride and races down into a patch of briars below. The hyenas pursue the entire way. When they are running down towards the briars, Banzai sees them and recoils.} Banzai: Whoa!! {After skidding extensively, Banzai manages to stop just above the brambles. He heaves a sigh of relief. Then Shenzi and Ed run into him, propelling him into the bushes.} Banzai: Yeow! {Jumping back out of the bushes} {Shenzi and Ed are laughing} Shenzi: {Seeing Mario emerge from the far side of the briars into the desert} Hey-- There he goes! There he goes! Banzai: {Removing thorns} So go get 'im. Shenzi: There ain't no way I'm going in there. What, you want me to come out there looking like you? Cactus Ass? Banzai: {Spitting out thorns into Ed's laughing face; Ed lets out a small yelp of pain} We gotta finish the job. Shenzi: Well, he's as good as dead out there anyway. And IF he leaves sml, we'll kill 'im. Banzai: {Shouting} Yeah! you hear that? If you ever leave, we'll kill ya!!! {"Kill ya" echoes off. The Hyenas make their way off the cliffs back to the portal to the Pride Lands.} (Daisy comes out of a portal) Mario: Daisy! What are you doing here? Daisy: I don't have time to explain, but suffice it to say, we’re in danger. We must leave Now. Mario: Why? Daisy: Koopa Came Back From The Revenants And He’s Working For Lord Satan Mario: If you think that’s bad... if there’s one god you don’t want to piss off on- it’s hades. Don’t take my word for it I’ll just let the muses do the talking Thalia: (singing) He ran the Underworld, But thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as ruthless- And that's the gospel truth. He had a plan to shake things up- And that's the gospel truth! (The crystal ball zooms into show HADES being rowed across the river Styx. Souls of the dead claw at HADES' robe as the boat progresses. HADES blasts them, then blows on his finger. They also encounter CERBERUS, the three-headed dog guardian of the underworld. HADES throws it a hunk of meat and the boat passes. The boat arrives at HADES' lair and he steps off.) HADES: Pain! PAIN: Coming, your most lugubriousness! (He trips, rolls down the stairs and lands on a sharp, three-pronged trident.) AAAHHH!! HADES: Panic!! PANIC: Oh! I'm sorry! I can handle it! (He runs down the stairs, but trips on PAIN, who's just managed to get himself free of the trident. The two tumble down the stairs, and PAIN ends up on the ground in front of HADES. PANIC follows soon after, but falls head-first onto PAIN, meaning his horns stick in PAIN'S backside.) PAIN: AAAHHHH!! Pain! (He salutes.) Oh! (He turns around, showing PANIC stuck in his backside by his horns.) PANIC: And Panic! (He also salutes.) BOTH: Reporting for duty! HADES: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive. PANIC: (Who's just been pulled out by PAIN) Oh! They're here! HADES: (Whose flames are red rather than blue) WHAT?! THE FATES ARE HERE AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?! PAIN and PANIC: We are worms! Worthless worms! (To demonstrate this, they shape-shift so that they really do look like big, ugly worms.) HADES: (Cooling down) Memo to me, memo to me -- maim you after my meeting. (PAIN and PANIC look at each other.) (The scene changes to show the cavern where the three FATES are waiting.) ATROPOS: Darling, hold that's mortal's thread of life good and tight. (She cuts the thread with scissors and a woman's scream is heard.) LACHESIS: Incoming! (The FATES laugh as a woman's soul enters from the top of the cavern, flies past HADES and through the opening behind them. The counter above the tunnel reads OVER 50000000000000000001 SERVED.) HADES: Ladies! Hah! I'm so sorry that I'm -- ATROPOS: Late. CLOTHO: We knew ya would be. LACHESIS: We know everything! CLOTHO: Past. (LACHESIS takes the one eye that the FATES share.) LACHESIS: Present. (ATROPOS takes the eye.) ATROPOS: And future. (To PANIC) Indoor plumbing -- it's gonna be big. HADES: Great, great. Anyway, see, ladies, I was at this stakeout and I lost track of -- FATES: We know. HADES: Yeah, I know ... you know. So ... here's the deal. These guys. People who aren’t accepted by or who is isolated from society Now the barrier’s shut down by -- FATES: A Overpowered Pokémon. LACHESIS: We know! HADES: I KNOW! ... you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, lemme just ask ... is these bums gonna mess up my hostile take-over bid or what? Whaddaya think? LACHESIS: Ah ... CLOTHO: (to LACHESIS) Oh, no you don't. We're not supposed to reveal the future. (She tweaks LACHESIS' nose, silencing her.) HADES: Oh, wait -- I'm sorry. Time out. Can I -- can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you -- (to LACHESIS) -- did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. (LACHESIS giggles.) I mean, you look like a Fate worse than death. (LACHESIS giggles even more. CLOTHO hits her on the back of the head and the eye falls out. Unfortunately for him, PANIC catches it.) PANIC: Oh, gross! (He gives it to PAIN.) PAIN: Yech! It's blinkin'! (He kicks it and it lands in HADES' hand.) HADES: Ladies, please! My fate ... (He puts the eye in LACHESIS' hand.) is in your lovely hands. LACHESIS: Oooh ... CLOTHO: Oh, alright. (The eye leaves LACHESIS' hands and floats above them. The FATES circle below.) LACHESIS: In 80 days precisely, the planets will align -- ever so nicely. HADES: Ay. A verse. Oy. ATROPOS: The time to act will be at hand! First Unleash the Undead, your monstrous band. HADES: Mm-hmm, good, good. LACHESIS: Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall! And you, Hades, will rule all! HADES: YES! THE DEAD RULES!! ATROPOS: A word of caution to this tale. HADES: ‘Scuse me? ATROPOS: Should Hercules fight, you will fail. (FATES disappear, cackling.) HADES: (Bursts into red flames again.) WHAT?! (He cools down.) Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine. (A bell dings and a door opens.) Boys I’m think it’s time for a change of atmosphere maybe a nice summer place Pain: You could use a little sun, boss. Hades: Which is why I got my eye on this charming big metaverse. see the metaverse. Hades: The charming part can be fixed but otherwise, it's got a little garden field Just redecorate maybe add some new drapes and bam we’re done Hades: But, best of all, we can get it for a steal! squeezes the miniature metaverse and it disappears in a cloud of smoke The only problem, minor roadblock really. block of stone falls on the screen and shatters into a statue of Merlin holding a safe Hades: Is this wizard, Merlin. He’s got a security system: The Barrier. safe turns into the barrier. Word is, it blocks the outside so, Remember last time with that crystal? is asleep in his chair. Pain and Panic steal the crystal on top of his shelf. Merlin wakes up. Pain and Panic run off with the crystal. Merlin gets up and takes out his wand Merlin: Stop! Scoundrel! waves his wand shattering the crystal. Pain and Panic are sucked into a portal in the floor. Hades: That’s not gonna happen again! I know just the guy who knows a lot about takeover Pain And Panic: You mean? Hades: Oh I mean. Deep within the bleak and dismal slaughter swamp hidden beneath its mirky waters outside of Gotham City lies the headquarters of the most sinister villains of All time THE LEGION OF DOOM Lex Luthor: The legion of doom is now in session it’s the purpose of the legion to kill the Justice League A leaving us not just the rulers of the world but the universe (Check out my version of the Legion Of Doom) Lex: The Atomic skull, The mighty Bane, The Awesome Bizarro, The tamaran conqueror Blackfire, The Egyptian 6 god powered Black Adam, The genocidal Black Manta, Brainiac the collector of worlds, Catwoman The queen of thieves, Captain cold you can call him Mr. snart, The cunning Cheetah...s, The shapeshifting Clayfaces, The venomous Copperheads, Deathstroke The terminator or Slade your choice on calling him, Devil Ray, The Electrocutioner, The Firefly, The Gentleman ghost, The feminine yet Ferocious Giganta, Gorilla Grodd king of gorilla city, Cyborg’s duplicate Grid, The acrobatic yet mad Harley Quinn, The one man Heatwave, The Joker, The KGBeast, The Cannibalistic Killer Croc, The Cold blooded Killer frosts, The Warrior Lashina, The Leader Of the legion none other than I: Lex Luthor, The electrifying Livewire, The bounty hunting Lobo, The mechanized Metallo, The Mirror master, The deadly Parasite, The Seductive Poison Ivy, The Puzzler, The Queen bee, The Riddler, The speed force’s Reverse Flash, The hideous scarecrow, The yellow lantern corps leader and scarecrow’s right hand man Sinestro, The loudmouthed Silver banshee, starro the conquer, Tala, The Toymen, The Thinker, Vandal savage, Volcana and Weather wizard Lex catches his breath Lex: I’ve gathered here before me the universe’s deadliest villains and yet each of us has failed to kill The justice league. After Mario’s brother Luigi has been missing for years the red plumber’s defenseless. With the greatest general around, Leaders like Lord Satan At gas station Mario enters the gas station and cashes his ticket in Sadness Mario types out a letter with a typewriter. Joy Mario: Okay, lemme see what you've got. reads From Mario. 'Dear SML, I’m Leaving you for fighting the dead around the world. It would mean a lot of you'd don’t come and be safe and let the professionals do it.' Hmm. That's great, except that you forgot, 'and since we're out of popourri, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some!’ HELLO! This is the apocalypse! Make it sound a little urgent, please. You know what I'm talking about? Sadness Mario makes another letter. Joy Mario: Let’s see Reads Dear So-called "Family" It's obvious that I am not welcome here anymore unless I wear the old outfit on. Well, I grow tired of wearing that damn suit, and decided to leave this neighborhood and not be your "roommate" any longer. I only went along with Rosalina accusing me of spanking jeffy since I never wanted to attend your “videos”. But by the time I discovered that you went too far, you decided to throw me out like a dead body and sold most of my stuff. So I guess the punishment fit the crime eh everyone? But all you have done is treating me like a pet at best or an object or better yet the punching bag. I'd expect this attitude from Junior, Joseph, and Cody. But the two of you as well Logan and Chilly?! As for Cody, I thought you were the smartest, but you fell for my tricks as well as falling into superstitions because I hear by am retiring. Bowser, I used to think you would cover for me after everything I've done to you, but I guess I was wrong... I thought you were worthy enough to for my trust... but deep down, you’re a lazy ass. Jeffy, you called me your "daddy" but really, I'm nothing more but your slave... Goodman, you can find someone else to be your dummy, since your orange lantern bullshit Does nothing but hurt people who sends a driver’s license to the sun over a tap. I guess you like causing misery in others and stealing money, checks and lottery tickets. And I won one moving on Rosalina, I now think you're the worst wife in all of existence, but I think you're tied with Brooklyn Guy who uses me as a faggot who defends jeffy for no reason. To my dear "Cast" you can drown in the acid with the others! And You got demonized by YouTube because they fell bad for me If the Drops of tears are stained by the following sentences you have to trace them Why can't you accept me as your own friend?! So, I'm leaving this worthless, pathetic excuse of a town. Don't look for me, or else I will call the FBI on you! You know what In fact If I ever and I mean EVER find you in the mushroom kingdom again the guards of will throw you in the dungeon and that’s all the announcements I made I hope you guys have a nice day because none of us won’t have to deal with Your “videos” anymore Your former slave and pet, Mario Monroe P.S. Wonder I had my last name legally changed? Because it’s my birth name nice knowing you P.S.S. You come to me, again... In fact, you go anywhere in this universe, preying on innocent people and I will find you, and I will shoot both of your arms, and then both of your legs, and then we will rip your face right off your head. Do you understand? Yes. So you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Going down the street. Like a turd. In the wind. Do you feel me? Good ⁃ Mario �� Losers P.S.S.S As for no such luck You’re bad luck and you’re no such luck P.S.S.S.S Kiss My Ass Anger Mario: That's better, much better! (Mario sees something walking into the moonlight, where there is a parade going on. Mario peers over the shoulders of people. He sees PRINCE ACHMED riding on a horse.) BYSTANDER 1: On his way to the mushroom kingdom’s palace, I suppose. BYSTANDER 2: Another suitor for the princesses. (Mario is startled as the two children come running out from the alley. The BOY runs out in front of the PRINCE's horse, startling it.) PRINCE: Out of my way, you filthy brat! (The PRINCE brings up his whip to attack the children, but Mario jumps in front of them and catches the whip.) Mario: Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners PRINCE: Oh--I teach you some manners! (The PRINCE kicks Mario into a mud puddle.) Mario: Come to think of it. It's not every day you see a horse with two asses! (The PRINCE stops and turns back to Mario.) PRINCE: You are a worthless plumber. You were born a plumber, you'll die a plumber, and only your stench will mourn you. Mario: I'm not worthless! And I don't have fleas either! 11:38 pm Everyone step out of the getaway Jeep At the hotel Later INT. MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS The guys walk in. Luigi: We should probably go. Panty: Luigi, we’re literally on the doorstep. Mario: Bad idea, bad idea, this is a bad idea-- Stocking : Just relax. The front door opens a crack, Nick Fury’s eye peering out. Then it WIDEN. He steps out onto the door, stunned at the sight of Peter. Isn’t he supposed to be dead? And for Peter, isn’t Aunt May dead? Mario / Luigi / Panty / Stocking: We’re not ready for this. Nick Fury: So Nice to see you 4 together Mario: Hey Nick Fury... So this is going to sound crazy... but I’m pretty sure that I’m from— Nick Fury: YouTube? Yes? No? Mario: Yeah, I’ve heard that already. Panty: Did spidey have a place where we could make another one of these? Panty shows him the busted doodad. Nick fury regards it... Nick Fury: (re: goober) A goober... Follow me. So - Nick Fury: OPENS A DOOR and leads them to a GARDEN SHED in the tidy yard. Luigi: Oh yeah, I got one of these too. A little shed where I keep my---nudes? --A SHIELD-GRAPHIC begins to glow on the shed's door, which opens to reveal an ELEVATOR. Nick Fury: looks at Mario: was YOURS like this? As they enter: Mario (CONT’D): I mean, this place is pretentious. INT. NICK FURY'S LAB - CONTINUOUS --into RIPeter's MASSIVE, SPIDER-MAN MEETS CALATRAVA LAB: Crammed with crime-fighting and science gear, photos, hangout furniture, not to mention every hero-branded product in existence. They reach the bottom, fan out, exploring. Mario: Whoa. Dude, was Spider-Man’s anything like this? Nick Fury: It was like this, but take away the jeep, the plane... imagine it way smaller. Imagine a futon. I feel sad for that guy. Panty And Stocking notices one of 616Peter’s costumes... it has a CAPE. Panty: Wicked. Nick Fury: Peter knew how dangerous the job was. But he figured the only one who could stop this guy was Spider-Man. Mario: Kingpin knows we’re coming. We’re going to be outnumbered. Nick Fury: Don’t be so sure. Nick holds out “my name is” stickers. Nick Fury: (CONT’D) You might need these. Nick Fury grabs a few Name tags Nick Fury: Think you’re the only heroes in the metaverse? SOUND OF BLINDS FLICKING OPEN-- Rango is lit with a sandstorm, a cowboy figure whose coat is inexplicably billowing around him. Rango: Howdy fellas. The name’s... Rango MILES: Is he a lizard? Panty: Where is that wind coming from? We’re in a basement. Rango: Wherever I go, the sand follows. And the wind, smells like rain. SOUND OF MACHINE WHIRRING ABOVE. BOOM! Jenny Wakeman JUMPS DOWN from above. Jenny: Hi guys! Konichiwa! Hajimemashita yoroshuku? BOOM! The teenage robot, LANDS IN A BADASS POSE. Blade draws his sword while taking out a stake. Hilda flies onscreen while carrying her Power Battery, before putting her ring inside of it to charge it. Hal then pulls the ring out, causing it to glow with blue energy Blue Lantern: Hello. I’m Hilda Of the blue lantern corps. Goofy walks onscreen while scratching his head and tips his hat Goofy: How Do? Donald angrily grumbles as he walks onscreen Sam and Max crash their car and hop out, Sam fixing his tie as Max grins. A block of ice is shown before it shatters to reveal Mei Ms. Fortune walks onscreen in a cloak and throws it off Marco Diaz flies onscreen while carrying his Power Battery, before putting his ring inside of it to charge it. Hal then pulls the ring out, causing it to glow with green energy, and aims it towards the camera. Spider-Man descends to the battlefield hanging upside-down from his own line of web saying "Yo, the Spectacular Spider-Man is Here!". A burst of blue smoke appears onscreen and Darkwing comes out of it, sweeping his cape. Stocking: This could literally not get any weirder. Darkwing Duck walks into the shot next to stocking. Long beat. He sticks out his hand for stocking to shake. Darkwing Duck: It CAN get weirder! I just washed my hands that’s why they’re wet. Panty: So, uh, how did you get here? Blade: Well, it’s kind of a long story. We see the collider explosion. Mario: I haven’t adventured in years because they prevented me from going out of town with their forcefield Nick Fury: That's right. You got to get back out to the big bright beautiful world and go through the realms. And save us all We gotta deal? Luigi stares in shock. Nick Fury: The world needs your help. They want you to make a come. A true hero. Armageddon is coming and Everyone is bringing the wraith of the 7 deadly sins with them Mario: We’ll do it. Nick Fury: Okay, then let's get down to business. Nick Fury slaps down a picture of Peach. Nick Fury: Here she is. Her name's Peach. She isn’t sweet as she used to be. She stole everything from us with her comrades. You have to watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as a speedster. Anger Mario: Whoa, huh huh. Cool. Nick Fury plunks down PLANE TICKETS. Nick Fury: Peach's marring Satan in the mushroom kingdom in 80 Days Which we’ll kneel before them. Your flight leaves tonight, I got someone who’ll drive you to the airport. Mario: Tell You What we’ll go the distance Luigi: We’ll Tour the world Paris. London. Monte Carlo. Constantinople. Nick Fury: Right So You start tonight! Luigi: Can we watch some TV first? Nick Fury picks up the gun and SHOOTS the TV. Nick Fury: No.